What do you mean you met in real life?

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So you mean to tell me that you met your partner at a bar?

Like in the real world?

How did you know what to say? What did they do to show they were interested?

How did you know how they felt about dogs? Or if they were well-travelled? Or had friends? Or where they went to school?

Or how far away they lived from you miles-wise?

What did you say to go up to them? And then what did you say right after that? And how did they respond so immediately? What did you do to keep talking?

But your friend was nearby right? In case you needed some feedback?

How were you sure that they were really who they said they were? Did you just Google them in the bathroom? But what if you spelled their name wrong? But . . . you couldn’t reverse Google image search their photos!

How did you make sure they weren’t catfishing you and weren’t really five gnomes standing on each other’s shoulders in a long overcoat?

They could have been lying the whole time. Their name isn’t Nancy or Kevin or Sam. They don’t work in IT at an office nearby. They aren’t at a happy hour. This isn’t a bar.

Why were you out of your apartment?