Amsterdam Diary #2
Always listen to your body. Be more selective about your mind though…
Always listen to your body, always, but when it comes to your mind, be more selective with that motherfuckers, because sometimes it feels like it plays to the opposite team. Or is just constantly testing you?
Today was one of those days when you feel tired since the very moment you start your run. I was not even 5Km in and was feeling totally exhausted. I actually remember looking at my watch’s screen at about two point something kilometres and saying to myself “only 30 more to go”.
It was hard from start to finish, but the real challenge was pushing through those initial kilometres, the initial 10K.
I didn’t have a good sleep last night, and by good sleep I mean, I went to bed unnecessarily late, wasting time in meaningless activities that always give me regret afterwards.
That said, I still got the right amount of hours, although sleep is one of those very few cases where it is about both, quantity and quality; and having enough of the former will not always guarantee the latter, there additional variables that come at play. I messed with few of them, hence the outcome.
I was not only physically tired, I was also cognitively limited, my head was cloudy and focusing was difficult.
During that initial period of the run a question regularly the feasibility of my completing the intended distance. It felt like a real challenge at that point. However, one thing that you get as a -by now- seasoned runner, is that quitting is never an option and that I rather push further and cut it short, that going back at 7 kilometres, no matter how fatigued I felt.
That’s where the mind’s tricks come into place.
One thing is your body telling you “this is going to be slow and difficult” and another your mind telling you to just stop. That’s the real battle, and the only solution is to not listen to it, don’t pay attention to it and keep moving forward. Eventually, you’ll find yourself halfway point.
After the first call at the 7km mark, where I genuinely questioned my fitness for the day, I made a quick assessment of the circumstances.
- I have not had a long run in two weeks because I went on holidays in the middle of my training block.
- I have holy 5 weeks to go until race-day; meaning, only two more long runs after this one to get my distance-act together. That’s not much.
- As tired I feel and as much I’d like to go back home and feel bad for not having a good sleep, I cannot get back at 7km (totalling about 15km for the day).
- Even if I go slow, it should get me back on track and should be all good for next week.
All this happened in a matter of seconds.
That said, decision made, there’s only one way to go. Forward.
I’m not going to come with magical stories that right after this my tiredness disappeared and started to run smooth, light and fast like the wind. NO.
However, one reality was checked and reminded myself what it needed to be done, it became the only option, the only thing I had to do and completely attainable. By that time I was near the 10K mark and decided to make a quick stop for coffee hoping it would help remove that cloudiness in my head, which it did.
By this time, I made peace with myself that speed was out of the table for the day, so it was just about completing the distance and make it back home. My head was still reminding me from time to time the difficulty of my endeavour, but the thing is, that, the more you keep pushing, the less noise it eventually keeps making.
That’s the thing with the mind, sometimes I question if it is friend or foe? Is it rooting against me and wants me to fail, or is it just pushing me, testing me so I can get better? I really don’t know.
Eventually, the voice fades away until it disappears, by that time I was already on my way back, tired, at times walking but knowing that it was done, because by the moment you are halfway on your return, you know there’s nothing that it is going to stop you. No matter how long it feels, how hungry or thirsty, you’re now closer to get it done, and just the same way you did it when you started, there’s only one way to go, one last thing to do. Finish it.
Once that’s done, all I wanted was sugar in the form of chocolate croissant and chocolate cookies. The perks of marathon training, probably the only time it is fully justified and unanimously supported to immerse yourself on an indulgent sugar feast.
What can I say? Listen to your body, right? 😉
