16 reasons to feel a little bit better about Donald Trump winning the Presidential election.

Listen, I’m sad too. Maybe this will help.


  1. Saturday Night Live is going to have Alec Baldwin on retainer.
  2. You can walk up to any stranger in NYC and hug them today.
  3. There’s still that unopened bottle of champagne in the fridge.
  4. Half of the UK finally has someone to cry with.
  5. No judgement if you want to go buy three bags of McDonalds.
  6. Trump has plenty of time to release those tax returns now.
  7. I mean… it would have been soooo much glass to clean up.
  8. “White House” is going to feel 100% less racially-insensitive after Trump paints it gold.
  9. We can all quit forcing our kids to take Spanish classes.
  10. Having a big boy job will keep Trump from launching Trump News.
  11. We either get to say “I told you so” or be wonderfully surprised.
  12. If we were this wrong about the polls… maybe those polar bears have a shot?
  13. Our white male children can finally dream of being President without the stress and pressure of being qualified.
  14. New job opportunities for mini wall tchotchke makers.
  15. Holy crap. All of this grace and resiliency from Hillary supporters in my Facebook feed.
  16. Now that we’ve clearly demonstrated the divide, we can start working to fix it.