Trauma Bond or Twin Flame?
There seems to be a surge of content on the topic of soulmates and twin flames. Some argue that soulmates are vastly different than twin flames. Others use the term interchangeably. No matter your personal beliefs on these terms, there is something gravely important to realize when describing a soulmate relationship or “twin flame journey.”
Holistic healers, intuitive guides, spiritual workers, and the like will say that a twin flame may come in and out of your life, “triggering” you to make changes or look within. When twin flames can be in a union, it’s after they’ve done enough healing on their own. Otherwise, they will always be in conflict. Similarly, a soul mate may not be intimately involved with you, but they will bring about certain karmic lessons that we are to learn in the current human experience. “Karmic” means spiritual principle or passion.
Soulmates and twin flames have actually been romanticized a great deal through our entertainment industry. But there’s a harsh reality to these kinds of relationships — they mimic a narcissist’s ploy to entangle their victim/s. If they succeed, you become trauma bonded. If you’ve ever experienced a random adult temper tantrum or subliminal hits to your confidence (degradation), the silent treatment, etc. then you are familiar with the actions of a malignant narcissist. But remember, this person also showed you love, spent time with you, bought you gifts, etc. They love-bombed you. So how do you know if you are on a twin flame journey or you have encountered an abuser or manipulator? It’s a tough call, I admit. No one has the right to determine where someone else is in their evolution. And if you are not a licensed mental health professional, you cannot diagnose anyone, just simply identify the patterns of behavior.
Here’s my personal take on the difference between a twin flame and a trauma bond. When we are trauma bonded, we have a deep yearning to be around the other person. We want to talk to them, look at their social media posts, we want them to pursue us. Even when we know they are toxic. There’s a bit of an addiction with trauma bonds. For those of us who were raised in narcissistic homes, this is deeply rooted in our programming of how we form and maintain relationships.
However, I believe twin flame interactions don’t involve power. Passion, yes. But there isn’t the dynamic of one person controlling the other. There is no manipulation, at least not intentionally. When one person “triggers” the other, it’s out of truth. Truth was revealed and it hit a wound in the other person, so they blow up and/or run away. This explains why twin flames are on and off or spend extended periods of time in separation. The arguments send both people back into their singleness or a “hermit mode.” During this time, both people are said to be healing or expanding their consciousness. They are resolving their own karmic debt.
Please bear in mind this is an esoteric outlook to dysfunctional relationships and fated unions. If you are ever in physical danger, please remove yourself from the situation immediately and as safely as possible. Twin flame/ soulmate relationships may take up a large part of our lives, but knowing who we are at the core can me these journeys more meaningful and useful to our human experience.
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