Kicking Humiliation to the Curb

Kimberly Carter
The Salamander
Published in
7 min readApr 2, 2021

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How learning a fresh skill gives this newbie a badge of honor.

Photo by Silicon Valley Fishkeeping on Unsplash

When my partner gifted me with an empty fish tank and a box of aquarium supplies for Valentine’s day, I had mixed feelings. He loved the ocean, so I was willing to try anything that brought the water closer to him, but I’d never been keen on the notion of fish husbandry.

Fish tanks freaked me out. The same way a lifetime of flying never prepared me for the moment the flight attendant shut the airplane door — I was phobic of enclosed places. I imagined how the fish felt in their tank, circling the glass walls over and over — no hope of escape

The tank remained empty for a few weeks as life got in the way. Fish shopping wasn’t mentioned, and I didn’t press the matter. I wondered if it would be like the ready-to-go flower bulb kits — complete with dirt — that clients gifted me. The tank would wait in a corner until it grew dusty and, after a sufficient time, we would re-gifted it to a curious friend.

My partner constructed a beautiful piece of furniture for the fish tank to be displayed. He varnished the cabinet with care. There was much conversation, and consternation, about where the fish tank should go — we had to make a commitment. We compromised. We discussed. We did not argue.

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