How Writing a Christian Devotional Turned Me Into a Feminist

The notable women in history I wrote about didn’t do as they were told

Circa 1969, American social activist Dorothy Day (1897–1980), founder of the Catholic Worker movement, addresses a demonstration in Union Square New York where five men burned draft cards to protest against the Vietnam War. // Getty

There have been few moments in my life as exciting and joyous as the one in 2014 when my son Jesse came running into the backyard with a package. It contained the first copy of my first book.

We ripped open the padded envelope and jumped up and down together. I was overcome by seeing my name, along with my friend and co-author Randy Petersen’s name, on the cover. It was a dream come true. Until it wasn’t.

I turned the book over to where my short bio and photo were. I felt a battering ram to my stomach. The bio stated I was “married and the mother of two elementary-age boys.” Technically, I was married, but the Christian publisher knew that while I was working on the book, my husband moved out and asked for a divorce. The publisher pushed back our deadline because I needed time to pull myself together. Randy’s bio did not mention his single status. Neither of us had been asked to approve our bios.

I held back tears and continued to show excitement with my son. He was proud of me. But I was having trouble feeling pride in my accomplishment because I felt betrayed.

A sentiment, which first took root in me while writing the book, now blossomed. My mind may not have formed these exact words, but the idea was: Fuck the patriarchy.

I used to be OK with the patriarchy.

I didn’t grow up in a fundamentalist church. I was raised Lutheran. I got into fundamentalism by way of a cute boy who went to my friend’s nondenominational church. I went to her youth group hoping he would notice me.

He didn’t, yet I continued to go to the youth group and eventually the church services. I think I was drawn to fundamentalism because I was adopted, and my parents were never open to talking about my feelings about it. But, I had the thoughts many adopted kids have, including believing that I must be hard to love if someone could just give me away. (I still struggle with that one.)

In high school, I chose to work at a conservative Christian summer camp. I also chose to attend a conservative Christian college, Philadelphia College of…