4 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive

It’s Valentine’s Day, which means that all around you, people are talking about love and romance. Which, let’s be honest, is probably rather easy to have around this time of year. But how do you keep the romance alive in July? What happens when you don’t feel like you love your significant other? Are there ways to keep the romance alive?

As someone who’s been married for just under a year, I probably don’t seem like the most qualified individual to answer that question. But my wife and I have learned a few ways that have helped us and we hope that they will help you too.

So in order to give a balanced perspective, I’ve asked my wife, Chelsea, to join me on this post. Hi honey!

Hey there!

Joel

So, we’ve been married just under a year. Do you feel like we’ve done a pretty good job of keeping the romance alive in our relationship?

Chelsea

Well…I’m kidding! Yes! Like you said a little earlier, it almost seems like we don’t have a whole lot of wisdom to pass on yet but on the contrary, I think that we have a lot to share because not only have we already learned of ways to keep our romance alive, we’re still in the “Heads in the clouds,” “Everything you do is perfect,” and the honeymoon stage of things! During the first few years, generally, couples are still okay with having a fulI size bed because they like to snuggle. So, after my long-windedness, yes! I think we have done a good job of keeping our romance alive!

Joel

I definitely agree. So I thought we could each share two ways in which we keep the romance alive in our marriage. Do you want to go first?

Chelsea

I like it! Sure, I’ll start us out. One way that we have kept our romance alive is by staying interested in what each other is currently working on, whether that’s school or tasks we need to do in our jobs. I have felt very cared for when you have asked how work has been going or when you patiently listen to a stressful day I had.

One way that we have kept our romance alive is by staying interested in what each other is currently working on.

I also feel loved when you encourage me in things I’d like to pursue. Like encouraging me to play the ukulele and listening to me “sing” even when its really off tune! I also have truly seen how it affects you when I ask how a meeting went or, a biggie, is when I get excited with you about a new plane idea or sharing what the latest thing Elon Musk is doing. By showing interest in each other’s individuality, it has made me feel all the more loved as well as able to show love.

Okay, your turn, Babe!

Joel

Wow, that was a good one! So my first way would be to find ways to have intimacy throughout the day. I definitely think showing interest in what the other is interested in is a way that one can do this, but there are a lot more ways. Whether it’s through physical touch, like a kiss or squeeze of the hand as we pass, or a text letting me know that you’re thinking of me, it just lets me know that we’re still connected.

Find ways to have intimacy throughout the day

I know that each person has different ways that they feel loved, but part of being in a relationship is learning what those ways are. Another thing that helps me is when you pay attention to what I’m saying. This seems like a small thing but when you’re trying to multi-task while I’m talking I lose that feeling of intimacy. Another way that you show me this is when we spend a moment cuddling on the couch or you ask how my meeting went when I get home.

Do you have another way that helps you keep the romance alive?

Chelsea

I do! It may sound very obvious and cliche but I’m sharing this because, let me tell you, I have been struggling with it. To keep the romance alive…wait for it…PLAN SOMETHING ROMANTIC! Again, I know its obvious but I have found that in the midst of a busy life and busy schedule, it is difficult to figure out a time to go on a date, or make a special meal, or make dinner reservations.

Plan something romantic.

I have come up with many different ideas in my head about something to do for you and then have looked at my watch, thought of everything else that needed to be done, and decided to put it off for a little bit longer. Ladies and gentleman, do not put it off. The look in my husband’s face when he sees a special meal made or finds out about a date night I planned lets me know that it means something. Not only does a romantic evening give all the fuzzy feelings but it communicates to your partner that 1) you wanted to do something extra for them, and 2) you were willing to give that extra time to plan it. Never put off even doing something small, like bringing home flowers for no apparent reason. It goes a long way!

And why don’t you finish us off with a fourth point.

Joel

Well, mine is also kind of cliche and honestly what you’d expect from a blog post written by a pastor and his wife. But hear me out. The fourth way to keep romance alive is to keep God the center of your relationship. Like I said, cliche. But incredibly important.

Keep God the center of your relationship.

There’s so much being said right now about being able to love yourself and the importance of finding your own worth before trying to love someone else. Your worth can only be found in the price that was paid for you on Calvary. It’s only as Christ’s love flows through you and into the other person that you have enough to give. And let’s face it. Your partner will disappoint you and let you down. That’s just a fact. Without finding your worth and fulfillment in Jesus, you’re sure to feel disappointed and worthless. And also, I know I struggle being a decent person if I haven’t spent time with God. No one wants to be married to me at that point. So that’s why my final way to keep the romance alive is to make sure God is the center of your relationship.

Chelsea

Yes! I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for sharing your point of view on things, honey!

We hope that these quick pointers have either given you some ideas of how to enhance the romance in your relationship or have reinforced things you already knew. We hope you have a truly wonderful Valentine’s Day!