Awkward Conversation is better than No Conversation
Every month, I interact with dozens of folks across ages, genders, cultures and countries. Despite my best efforts, sometimes things get unhappy and awkward. The easy thing is to ghost each other. The right thing is to explain and communicate what happened and why.
As I have documented many times in my blogs, podcasts and even on my YouTube Channel, stretching to the ‘too much information’ category all too often, I don’t do well with people. Especially in personal relationship scenarios.
However, thankfully, my business interactions and relationships seem to perform a lot better and last a lot longer.
I think, one of the reasons for this is that no matter what, I always keep the communication channels open. No matter how weird and awkward things become, I always send in a message. My preferred way is email, of course. I (in)famously don’t use a phone.
The email always mentions an option to meet me in person, and, if the distance is too far, a zoom video call. As a general policy I insist on a face to face communication. In-person if physical proximity is not a problem. Or, video call.
Now, when the relationship has collapsed beyond repair, it’s possible, the other party feels like I have some nerve trying to establish communication. The truth is, I do, have the nerve. I have had the nerve all my life, and I don’t think, it’s going away anytime soon.
Second, I sincerely believe, no matter how terrible a situation has become, every relationship is worth something. At worst, it is worth a goodbye. Best case scenario, me and the other person find a way to get past the issues that were created.
Perhaps, the relationship will never be restored to its original status. It might even be downgraded to very low level. Still. A low level relationship is better than a zero relationship. Especially when it’s a business situation. Personal situation, sure, okay, we can simply let it go.
More recently, one of my vendor was asking for too much money. It is a delicate situation as it involved two women. It’s always tricky negotiating money matters, or anything, with females. However, the general communication policy still holds.
The vendor was asking for too much money for the service being provided. Now, we found other vendors who were willing to provide the same service for less money. So, I was willing to move on with the other vendors. However, this was always a compromise because the vendor with the high price has a higher quality.
This became weird and awkward and one of those circumstances that one might simply die down, quietly without any communication.
But, I was adamant that the vendor must be informed what happened and why her services were not hired. So, after much thinking, writing and rewriting (awkward emails always take time. I remember this one time, one such awkward email took almost 6 hours. But, it had to be written, no matter what the outcome), I sent the two vendors the awkward email.
And then, I waited. waited some more. Now, most of the time, the other party simply ignores the awkward email. So, that relationship has totally died. But, at least, I tried.
This time though, the 2 female team, replies. They said that okay, they read my long email. I always write real long emails with plenty of points, and reasoning and other details. They said, they understand my reasoning and they lowered their prices and willing work in my budget.
So, yeah. 8 out of 10 times, the awkward email, that I always write, gets ignored and so on. 1 out of 10 times, the upset party, replies to tell me to stay away from their lives. There is that too. Still though, it is a goodbye. If not a great goodbye.
Now, there is also that 1 time, when, the awkward email elicits a positive response, and the business relationship is re-established.
Ultimately, the point I am trying to make here, is, don’t do the ghosting thing. Or just assuming that the other person need not be informed or communicated as to why suddenly an ongoing conversation ended.
There was a proper Hi that started a converation and the relationship. There must always be a proper goodbye and ending to said relationship.
Simply leaving things up in the air is just not cool.
I work as a full-time freelance Coding Tutor. Career and Life Coach. Hire me at UpWork or Fiverr or GitHub. see my personal website. hobbies at Behanceand Unsplash and ArtStation . Also, podcast about life. and my Coding YouTube Channel. and also, my Movie YouTube Channel. and my travel instagram, and finally, updates about my tutoring life on threads app.
