Battleship — Great VFX, Dumb Action and Super Cool Grandpas

This movie is awesome!!!! source

2008 is really when I started getting heavily into movies. That is when I got my first job. I had some money to spare. I started living in the big metros of India. As I keep mentioning all the time, like it is today, as it was in 2008, I always had tons and tons of free time.

2008 is also when I discovered directors like Michael Bay. The first time I saw Bumblebee and Barricade transform from cars into giant robots (Transformers, 2007), I was in love. I mention all this because, Battleship, with my love for mecha and explosions and dumb action movies, should have been an obvious trip to the cinemas. I was already watching Transformers movies multiple times, anyway.

Somehow, I never got around to watching it. Yesterday, it just popped up on Prime Video recommendations. I was like, okay. God, in his infinite wisdom, has given me generous amounts of free time. Might as well watch it. I watch movies everyday anyway. The credits roll, and, well, the movie is awesome!

Every minute is exciting and action packed!

Giant Alien Ships Vs Human Ships

Andy Roddick is a lucky man. source

I know nothing about the board game Battleship. Just a general know-how due to my extensive knowledge board games and games, in general. I know the game is about sinking ships without looking at them. I can see that, this movie tries and succeeds to recreate the conditions for game of Battleship. On one side you got humans who have limited ships and resources. On the other side, are the aliens, also with limited ships and resources.

A magical force field stops outsiders form interfering with the game. So, that’s Battlefield. Then, ships are sunk in glorious CGI and explosions!

That’s the plot of the movie. I love these dumb action movies. I am watching this in 2021 and the special effects still look awesome. It is clear that the studio spared no expense on the special effects. I was constantly reminded of Michael Bay. I am also surprised that Peter Berg, the director, is not best friends with Michael Bay. These two directors should team up and make movies together.

Amazing Old People!

Yo Yo Weapons!!! Kablooomm!!!! source

The magic of this movie is that all the actors are aware that they are in a dumb movie. Except for Liam Neeson. I think, actors like Liam Neeson are so good at acting, they cannot help giving good performance even in a cheesy action movie. Everybody else is having fun.

Taylor Kitsch is perfect for roles like this. This guy is extremely good looking, hot, attractive and he cannot act at all! Brookyln Decker is also, hot with her incredible body and also not acting at all. That’s two perfect casting choices.

One thing, that surprised me, pleasantly, was the focus on real military veterans. There is a substantial portion of the movie dedicated to a hero soldier who lost his legs and he is totally badass with artificial limbs. And, also, old people soldiers coming together, raising an ancient ship to active duty and taking out the aliens.

I teared up a bit during these scenes. It’s a tear jerker. I was not expecting such an emotional and well written scenes for soldiers, and also, old, retired soliders. That’s really cool. I cannot stop thinking about it.

Final Note

Two Hot People. source

I have to ask though, why is Rihanna, in the movie? Rihanna is too recognisable and too famous for a movie like this? I look at Kitsch, I see a hotshot navy guy. I look at Decker, I see a therapist. I see Neeson, I see a Navy Admiral, authority figure. But, when I see Rihanna, I just see Rihanna. She is too popular to play a movie role.

Not only that, it’s quiet obvious that all her scenes were shot separate (like Liam Neeson’s scenes), and were edited to the main movie later. I cannot imagine millions of Rihanna fans sitting through a 2 hour movie about battelships. I dont understand the logic behind her inclusion in this movie. They wanted an African American, strong female representation, they could have cast any other African American, actor, and it would have worked way better.

Either way, I am kicking myself that I did not watch it when it was released. Still, god has blessed with an nice iMac 4K display with surround sound. Prime Video in India streams at amazing quality, so, I got the experience I wanted.

Watching this movie was an absolute blast!

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