Short Story — The annoyingly fun way, I ended my final, last job, 11 years ago.
The story goes back to the year 2012. It was May. I had just spent another birthday, filled with depression and inability to continue working in an office work environment.
It was now my 4th year as a salaried guy, but, I must have changed over a dozen jobs in so many cities since 2008, I had lost count.
My parents. relatives. friends. coworkers and of courses, girlfriends and related liaisons were convinced that, I must find a way to make the office life work. 4 years of my nonstop complaining, lashing out, bad mood, did nothing to convince any of them, that, perhaps, I am simply not made for this.
I had pushed on, and now, I was at the end of my rope. The last few threads of cotton, really. I did not know, what I will do, if not work. I only knew one thing. If I don’t leave this job, and leave this office life permanently, I may not see another birthday, to celebrate, no matter how sordid and disappointing it might be.
So, I made up my mind, went up to my boss, and told him, I must go. I cannot take it anymore. I cannot do this anymore.
I will sell my soul to the devil, but, I can no longer come to this building, or any office building. I cannot swipe my card, nor can I sit in this chair. I cannot attend any more meetings. I cannot eat that dull, tasteless cafeteria food. I cannot look at one more attractive, hot young HR woman, trying to motivate me with useless dumb HR games which make no sense to me.
I cannot tolerate any more employee of the month awards, because I don’t care about them.
My boss, said, that is not possible. They won’t let me put down my papers.
I said, I don’t want an experience letter. I don’t want any final settlement. I don’t care about the payslips. I don’t want a reference letter. I simply wish to walk out.
Please, I begged.
He would not accept. Neither would the senior manager. The buxom HR woman, whom’s job is, apparently, to help me, refused to meet me, scared to go against my two bosses.
I don’t blame her. She is powerless. After all, she is from HR, the most useless department in any company. All they do is process pay slips and send out holiday reminders. They have zero powers, and it’s really not their fault.
“Hmm…time to take matters into my own hands.”
From the very next day, I started annoying my boss, and the senior boss. Of course, I am, employee of the month, multiple times. I know the rules. I know the company policy, front and back. The client I service love me. My coworkers are in awe of me.
To everybody else, I was still the same high performing employee. Except to my two bosses. Every hour, every minute, I would come up with new ways to annoy them. It’s amazing how easy it is to annoy top management, when you no longer care about keeping your job.
On top of that, I am a smart guy, and I am too good at my job. So, they cannot real complain about me to anyone else. So, only they knew they were being annoyed into madness.
This went on for 3 days. Then, on the 4th day, I landed at my desk. For another fun filled day to mess with my two bosses. Almost instantly, came the buxom HR lady.
The same lady, who refused to help me 3 days ago. She asked me to join her in the meeting room.
She immediately informed me that,
- I have been given permission to put down my papers.
- I have to serve my mandatory notice period.
- I don’t have to do any work, interact with clients or attend any meetings.
- Most importantly, I must stop this passive aggressive ‘annoying’ things I have been doing to my two bosses for the last three days. This HAS TO STOP, immediately.
I simply nodded and smiled.
30 days went by.
I did not have to work at all. I would simply come to office, swipe my card, wait for 8 hours, and leave office. At my desk, I could do what I want. browse the internet. read online novels. play video games. Whatever I want, as long as I don’t disturb anyone.
And, I kept my word. I stopped annoying my two bosses, who avoided me for all those days.
On the final day, my exit was done without any incidents. The buxom HR lady took care of it within minutes, and I was allowed to leave without any issues.
They even sent the final settlement amount, without me having to call them or email them or anything.
Epilogue (a long one)
Of course, I had to pay a huge price for this decision.
Multiple marriage proposals, from within the family, and daily life connections were withdrawn the moment word spread that I have returned home, and after discovering that there is zero chance, I will ever return to an office job.
Young. Healthy. Good looking, well behaved, without any drinking or smoking habits, and always home by 6 PM after office. Ah! such a waste, one future mother-in-law, remarked to my face, before yanking her daughter, who still pined for me, out of our home, at a family gathering.
My father, immediately, disowned me.
As my father, he was the most in-demand man, due to the endless marriage proposals. That loss of prestige, he would never forgive me. Even today, he does not speak to me because of this. My siblings, always on the side of my father, stopped speaking to me, as well.
My mother, also forbidden to spend time with me or interact with me, torn between her loyalty to her husband, and her love, for her son.
Upset future mother in laws, took this as a base level betrayal, and began to spread all sorts of rumors about my lifestyle. I became an outcast in a matter of months. I was no longer allowed to attend family gatherings. If I were to attend, at my mother insistence, I would be asked me leave.
I was even asked to leave my own brother’s wedding, before the ceremony was complete, by one of the angry future mothers-in-law, still upset, after all these years.
Sometimes, I will get angry at them. Now, as I grow older into my middle age, I understand where they came from. I wish, I could be what they want me to be, but, sometimes, the path, forks away from the norm. It’s simply, what it is.
I work as a full-time freelance coding tutor. Hire me at UpWork or Fiverr or Stack Overflow or GitHub. see my personal website. see my photography art hobby at Behance and Unsplash and ArtStation. Also, podcast about life. podcast about movies. and Twitch. and YouTube Channel.