Yes, I do Wear Lipstick!
“Why have you dressed up like a prostitute?” questioned my mom obscenely. I was startled for a moment not knowing what I did. Then she pointed at my lipstick. Since I wore my favourite shade, the scarlet red lipstick, I was addressed as a ‘Whore’. It bothered me so much that I couldn’t think of anything else but this.
It was a very pleasant Monday morning. Probably first Monday, I was fully prepared to encounter that day’s chores with all smile. But my mom’s words didn’t let me start my day that way. My excitement had shattered into different pieces of unwanted thoughts.
I left for the day forgetting my packed lunch box, my buss pass and myself in one question. I tried getting rid of those words. While every other thing remained buried deeply under my sub-conscious mind, that question didn’t find a way to abscond from my memory.
Staring Syndrome
Well, we all know that, we, Indians are quite obsessed with “Staring Syndrome”. But that will be revealed and felt deeply when you happen to be the victim of their stares. Staring isn’t atypical for many of the girls. It will be queer only when a girl says, ‘I haven’t received a single stare from a stranger’. Keeping that in mind, I pretended to be normal. Anything will seem bigger than it actually is, when you are possessed by a deep thought. That is called ‘Blowing up syndrome’
Any person who got into the bus through the front door, would stare at me for no reason. This made me think even more about the same question. After every stare I received, I would look into the dark mobile screen to check my lipstick. I did not feel like rub my lipstick without knowing a genuine answer for those stares and that comparison.
The Crippled phase
Even before I could begin my work, my day had left me with an apathy to concentrate on anything else. The disturbance the question had caused was unimaginable. Yet, I tried my level best to give a better exercise to my cheek bones. Yup, I really tried to smile.
My colleague could easily sense my mood. Yet, I tried to hide it from her, as I felt offended to discuss this topic with her. Also, she was familiar only with the fashion designer avtar of my mother. In order to maintain that image, I had to pretend myself from confessing the truth.
Whenever, she could spot my dull look and poor work quality, she would insist me to spill out the truth. Since I never try to hide anything from her, it was very hard for me to mask the truth with some invalid excuses or reasons. In fact, that made me feel all the more guilty for being untruthful to her.
Procession of thoughts
Many controversial thoughts would hit my conscience, whenever I would sit idle thinking about that question. I had seen my colleagues wearing that. But why did I develop such a negative thought around that question? What made me feel bad? The comparison did not seem mainstream nor did the stares.
It was around 6 pm, still the trace of that beautiful shade remained in my lips. I mustered up some courage to look myself confidently into the front camera of my phone. I enjoyed the pride I received after watching myself with so much of confidence. “I am back”, was my first thought that rushed into my mind.
To society and people around me, with love — Varalakshmi
Though it was my fault to think on one disheartening question, people around me and the society as a whole unit, will also have to take charge of what has happened to me. It surely isn’t a blame game. Even if my mom gives me a justifiable answer, I would not accept that. In fact, my mom put forth this question.
To all those strangers who stared at me constantly, try to accept the fact that we are living in the 21st century. It is high time that women have started to work in different places, leaving their home land. According to a study, a woman wears make-up to boost her confidence. But your gestures never seemed encouraging folks, watch out. It is a well-known fact that, the society (including me), would always try to see things in their own ways. When it comes to thinking from different perspectives, we all give highest priority to ourselves there. Yes, I wear lipstick and that doesn’t give you a hint of my character!
