The Dopamine Trap
We do things because they feel good, not because they are good.
We want to do the right thing but the right things are often much less pleasurable than the dopamine alternatives.
Because dopamine delivers immediate gratification.
But the other, less pleasurable things you need to do short-term can lead to a Best You. Hard work, tedious tasks, things you fear, and more. The pain is temporary but the payoff is huge: long-term happiness, wealth, wellness, success, and more.
And we fight this battle every day, especially around habits.
Example: lay in bed early in the morning
The bed is warm and cozy. The room is cold and dark. You want to sleep more.
Dopamine=cuddle back under the soft duvet comforter and sleep for a few more hours.
You know you need to get up early to have time to do all the things you need to do so you won’t be stressed and you will be productive.
But darn is it hard! Your right brain could care less about your To Do list!
In order to force yourself to do it anyway, you need to make up your mind to listen only to your “Best You” voice.
Your Best You Voice is telling yourself to get yourself out of bed. Now. There is no negotiation. It is an order.
There is another voice, the dopamine-addicted one, who is trying to argue and negotiate and beg. But you must not give in.
You can cheat now and then but plan it in!
Then you can answer your dopamine voice that on weekends you will sleep in but on weekdays we get up early, period.
This scenario repeats itself all day long. It could be about exercising or eating a brownie or staying up late watching Netflix or speaking in public or whatever your vices or fears are.
We all struggle but for some it seems harder than for others not to give in to dopamine callings. Here are a few tips:
GOALS: Set clear goals for Your Best You with strong whys, the more descriptive and detailed the better. Print them out and hang them in a place you’ll see them (on your bulletin board or refrigerator for example).
MINDSET: Self-talk and self-motivation all the time. Use Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule as a motivator. Jen Sincero is also great to get into the Best You mindset. Meditate regularly.
ENVIRONMENT: Having a non-stressful, supportive environment can make or break your resolve to stick it out. This is the biggest reason I see people fail again and again. Environment includes your support team and removing toxic people from your world.
SELF-CARE: If you are pushing yourself constantly without a break you are twice as likely to burn out and give into temptations. Taking breaks, finding balance between work and family/friends, and integrating good self-care practices for your body and mind into your daily routines will make a huge difference in keeping your resolve.
ROUTINES: I can sing the praises of building good routines all day long. Routines help drive you towards your goals and keep you off the path of dopamine. While they can’t prevent it, they significantly reduce your chances of following the wrong voices. Plan efficient schedules with built-in self-care breaks and you will stay on the right path.
Making lasting changes can be tough but ultimately we need to focus on long-term happiness and get over our fears and be willing to work hard for our goals. Having a plan goes a long way!
