Apparently, Gen Z are having less sex than ever — here’s why

With the ability to swipe right looking for a hookup at any time, Gen Z is surprisingly having less sex than older generations.

Last year, a study exploring the sex lives and habits of Gen Z delivered some unexpected findings. Contrary to popular belief, many teenagers and adults in their early twenties reported surprisingly lacklustre sex lives.

What was depicted by the respondents was a far cry from the racy late-night rendezvous most people would associate with the younger generations.

So much so, that a 2021 survey by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney revealed one in four Gen Zers (anyone born between 1997 and 2012) have never engaged in partnered sex. To put that age bracket into context, people on the more mature end of the Gen Z spectrum are as old as 27 this year.

So why is Gen Z experiencing such a rut when it comes to sex and intimacy? According to New York City-based therapist Keanu Jackson, there may be a variety of factors at play.

The whole landscape has changed

With the popularity of dating apps and DM slide-ins not showing signs of slowing down anytime soon, no one can deny the rules of the dating game have changed.

But alongside obvious differences in how the younger generation is communicating online and IRL, Gen Z is redefining what sex actually means, and what it might look like for each individual.

“When young adults say they aren’t having sex, this does not necessarily mean that they are sexually inexperienced; rather, many of them seem to be expressing their sexuality in a different way — and, increasingly, that’s through an internet connection,” researcher Justin Lehmiller says of the 2021 study findings.

Here are the major reasons behind Gen Z’s lacklustre sexual habits, according to experts.

1. Gen Z are struggling to communicate.

Despite growing up with the most advanced and instantaneous forms of technological communication, Gen Z reports having an especially hard time opening up to their partners about their sexuality, boundaries and desires.

“I actually encounter a bunch of folks who seek support in learning how to advocate for themselves and to speak truth into their sexual and relational needs,” Jackson says.

“There is a wide misconception that if you wish to have a long-term healthy relationship, you need to be ready to meet 100 per cent of your partner’s needs 100 per cent of the time.”

“Not only is this a wildly dangerous and unrealistic expectation, but it also teaches folks that your personal boundaries aren’t as important. This is especially the case when there are clear power differentials present in the relationship and controlling behaviours,” the therapist explains.

2. Unwanted nudes have soured people’s experience.

While so many technological advancements have had a positive impact on the world, some have left a toxic stain on how we interact with others. Phones and gadgets enabling instant communication and high-quality photography have given rise to an epidemic of ‘unwanted nudes’– unwarranted sexually explicit content sent without warning.

“I once had a young male client, around 15. He opened his Snapchat and saw an explicit photo sent to him. He felt completely unsafe returning to school being around that peer and unsure how to process what he had just seen,” says therapist Torri Efron Pelton.

“For many of these children, there is no warning when opening a Snapchat of what they are about to see. So regardless of setting the boundary that they do not want to engage sexually with this person, they have to live with the image in their mind that they never asked for,” she adds.

3. They feel pressured to label their sexuality.

Even as the generation known for championing inclusivity and fluidity, Gen Z evidently isn’t immune to peer pressure when it comes to labelling and defining their sexuality and relationships.

“With the openness of social media and recognition of multiple sexual identities, teens are feeling both more acceptance and pressure to explore themselves to not fit into a box,” Efron Pelton says.

“While expanding our choice of labels was meant to be inclusive, many of my Gen Z clients feel pressure to pick a label early on and stick with it rather than truly exploring who they are and what they want.”

4. Performance anxiety is rife.

Most people can agree they’ve felt a pinch of performance anxiety in the bedroom before, especially when exploring intimacy for the first time with a new partner. For Gen Z however, growing up in the age of social media, cancel culture and a media-fueled narrowminded view of what ‘sex’ should be, feeling safe and valued in an intimate setting feels harder than ever.

“We live in a culture of shame, unfortunately, that assigns value judgment based on what your body looks like, and perceived sexual prowess,” Jackson explains.

“What I mean by this, for example, is that based on how you look, someone may assign a sexual script to you before you even have the chance to introduce yourself. If you somehow don’t fit the mould that was created for you, then it’s likely that you’ll be mistreated or shamed just for being yourself, which of course could lead to increased anxiousness as you’re trying to have sex or be intimate with someone,” he said.