How To Deal With A Low Libido: 9 Tips For Men
Low libido, or sex drive, in men can cause tension in a relationship, fostering doubt and guilt in affected men and their partners. However, low sex drive can often be treated successfully if the underlying cause is identified.
Lack of sexual desire, or low libido, can affect men and women. Low libido isn’t just a “slump,” but a continued lack of desire to have sex for a period of time. What causes low male libido ranges from emotional distress to physical problems. The best way to treat the lack of sexual desire is to see a doctor. A medical doctor can rule out physical factors whereas a sex therapist or marriage counselor can treat psychological factors.
One of the most common causes of low male libido these days is stress. You come home late every night from work, or you’ve lost your job, or whatever, and sex is the last thing on your mind. If your partner is amorous and then starts to complain about being rejected, you become even tenser and want to have sex even less. A vicious cycle builds up, and your sex life can deteriorate down to nothing.
Can you fix a problem such as this by yourself? Maybe, but it’s not easy. Here are 9 tips to help you deal with low sex drive;
1. Manage Anxiety
It’s hard to feel sexual when you’re feeling anxious, and that translates clinically. In fact, anxiety has been proven to worsen sexual dysfunction. There are many different types of anxiety disorders, and they impact the people who deal with them in a variety of ways.
Ways to manage anxiety include different forms of therapy, taking anti-anxiety medications, or natural modalities like meditation. If you deal with anxiety and also are feeling anxious about sexuality, that can feel like a double-edged sword that impacts your libido even further. In this instance, managing your anxiety at large should help regardless.
2. Treat Depression
Depression can have a negative effect on libido like anxiety can. When people are depressed, sexual dysfunction is common. Equally so, when depression is treated, sexual function and desire tend to improve. Like anxiety, you can treat depression with therapy, medications, and/or natural healing methods.
If you are experiencing low libido caused by your depression medication, that may be particularly frustrating. You may want to speak to your doctor about managing your depression differently if the lack of libido makes you feel more depressed.
3. Improve Sleep Quality
A good night’s sleep is key to a good day. Sleep disorders are associated with many different health problems, including low libido and sexual dysfunction.
If you have a serious sleep condition, speak with your doctor about potential treatments for it. If you have a milder problem, such as occasionally dealing with insomnia, or you experience racing thoughts when you try to sleep, you can try methods to improve your sleep habits.
4. Try Effective Natural Remedies
Studies have shown that some natural remedies promising to increase libido have risks that outweigh their benefits, while others are effective and don’t tend to come with side effects. There are several different natural herbs and adaptogens (i.e., substances that have been shown to alleviate depression and tiredness) that have been shown to improve everything from libido to virility and fertility. Some of the most popular include maca, ginseng, and ginko biloba.
Maca — The Peruvian root known as maca is one of the most well-studied aphrodisiac herbs. Still, research is more preliminary since the supplement industry is not as funded as the pharmaceutical industry. You can find maca in powdered form to add to smoothies, or you can take it in pill form. You can also make maca-infused drinks to boost your arousal.
Ginseng — Another herbal root, ginseng, has been shown to positively impact libido and sexual function. One type of ginseng, known as Korean Red Ginseng, has been shown to be specifically effective at improving the sex drives of menopausal women. Ginseng is available dried as a powder or pill and is commonly used fresh in Korean foods.
Gingko Biloba — Ginkgo biloba is an herb that is used as an extract. Gingko Biloba Extract (GBE) is used for the physical side of low libido; it can increase sex drive because of its effect on blood flow. Specifically, GBE increases blood flow to the genital area. It has been shown to increase sexual desire and satisfaction. As an extract, GBE is available as a tincture or in an encapsulated liquid format.
5. Exercise
There is no shortage of the benefits our bodies reap by being physically active, but you can add improved sex drive to the already-long list of exercise’s rewards. Exercise has been proven to increase libido. There are numerous ways that physical activity serves to improve sex drive, and they include positive body self-image, improved cardiovascular health and mood, increased sympathetic nervous system activity, and improvement of one’s endocrine system. Just like how any forms of exercise are better than none, there are no rules about what fitness-increasing activities one should try if they are exercising for the sake of improving their sex drive.
6. Eat Libido-Enhancing Foods
While there is no magic bullet food that will instantaneously increase your sex drive, there is plenty of truth behind the idea of aphrodisiac foods. These foods are more centered around getting you key nutrients and in good qualities than magically “pushing your buttons” to want to be sexual. Some types of foods that are good for libidos include:
Zinc-rich foods, which regulate testosterone and stamina, such as oysters, red meat, and pine nutsStamina and circulation boosters like fresh produce, whole grains, and legumesHigh flavonoid foods that help prevent sexual dysfunction, such as citrus, peppers, tea, and cocoa.
7. Work on Your Relationship
The longer you’re in a relationship, the more common it is to feel that the sexual chemistry between you and your partner or partners has dissipated. Not feeling as sexual or excited about your partner may prove difficult to get into the mood to be intimate with them. This can be resolved by working on your relationship together.
You can try sex therapy together, couples therapy, scheduling date nights, going on vacation together, or performing more intentional touching together. The better your relationship feels to you emotionally, the more likely you are to want to be intimate with your partner.
8. Practice Body Neutrality
Sometimes people experience low sex drive because they aren’t feeling comfortable in their bodies. One way to deal with this difficulty effectively is to practice body neutrality. It’s the idea of accepting your body as it is, without trying to love it when that doesn’t feel possible, and for being grateful for the functions that it can perform.
Body neutrality can be practiced in many different ways, ranging from how you select the clothes you wear to how you choose the foods you eat. In addition, it has many mental health benefits, some of which, like lowering stress, naturally improve sex drive.
9. Limit Alcohol and Other Substances
It should come as no surprise that alcohol and recreational drugs can have a negative impact on your sex drive. While alcohol may feel like a libido enhancer in the moment, it’s actually a depressant so the initial boost in your desire for sex is just temporary.
Alcohol can have a negative impact on parts of your body that are important for sexual function and drive, from blood flow to organ function. If you experience an increase in libido from drinking, do your best to keep your intake to a single glass of wine or cocktail. More is not better when it comes to alcohol and sexual function.
Recreational drugs, such as cocaine, may make you feel very good in the moment. They may also give you the sense of having a higher sex drive in the moment, as well. However, because of how drugs can zap your feel-good chemicals, flooding your body with them then leaving you depleted afterward. So, they do far more harm than good in this realm.
Recreational drug usage should be limited in general for people, but if you are experiencing a low sex drive, that is all the more reason to avoid them.
Conclusion
Low libido can have a variety of physical, emotional, or psychological causes. If low libido is affecting your relationship, avoid directly blaming yourself or your partner. Instead, have an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling.
If you’re concerned by your low libido, talk to your doctor. There are lifestyle changes that may put you in the mood more often. The solution may even be as simple as changing a medication you are taking.
In the meantime, try to remind yourself that the loss of sexual desire is not the same thing as the loss of a desire for intimacy. Even when struggling with sexual dysfunction, make every effort to connect emotionally and physically. By doing so, you can forge a closer bond and may even end up strengthening your relationship.
