I Used to Play to Win…

… In the sense that I wasn’t afraid to lose. Losing wasn’t on my radar.

Then I lost.

I lost my friends. I lost my money. I lost my faith. I almost lost my marriage. And that was all by the age of 27.

I’m now 38 and confronted with where I am now versus where I know I should be.

Losing stole some of my bravado and pizazz. I played my hand a lot safer. My voice got quieter. And while my dreams, desires and intentions never really shrank, the way in which I pursued them lacked color and courage.

It’s easy to coast when you’re comfortable, like I’ve been for the last 11 years.

I’ve been successful from the outside looking in. I’ve even made a difference for those I work with.

The issue I’m confronting here…

(and this is important, because this story isn’t a pity party for me — it’s a wake up call for anyone who has lost and stopped playing to win in the game called “their life”)

…is our Potential or Destiny or Legacy or Higher Purpose can’t be fulfilled when we’re playing not to lose, like I’ve done in the last 11 years.

I believe we each have a unique purpose and contribution to make. I also believe that most are playing small. That somewhere in the timeline of our life we Lost and in an effort to not experience that pain or disappointment ever again, we took ourselves out of the game called our Destiny.

The round about trick, I’m finding, to free myself isn’t in bigger goals, or added bravado, or more books or seminars. but simply to reach out to people. Initiate contact. Reconnect.

Our loss usually comes from people (others or our self) and to recreate our experience of people as “safe” by connecting with them, we find courage again. And in that courage I believe we add color back into our life and the game of Destiny and Purpose and our Potential becomes fun again.

Chris Angell

Author | Speaker | Coach

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