PALEO IS THE ANSWER, SAYS MAN BUYING FOOD FROM A STORE
Stan Porter was in line at the grand opening of the new Whole Foods when he helped the person behind him discover that since calcium supplements weren’t around in caveman times, they shouldn’t be part of her diet.
“I try to eat exactly like my hominid ancestors,” said Porter in an interview, “which means using an electric stove in a house with air conditioning and driving to a store to get food in a car that has an aux cord.”
“I really relish the taste of raw foods,” he said, chewing patiently on a steak exactly the way early hominids frantically ate leftovers and bone marrow in the dark after lions and hyenas had had their share, contracting their tapeworms and sometimes becoming unassuming prey themselves.
Other aspects of paleolithic living that Stan has integrated into his lifestyle include posting about his life of abstention on social media, lifting machine-welded weights at a gym, and using his phone to find a mate in a 3-mile radius.
