Ashley Madison Controversy: Why Are Women’s Accounts Suspended?

User safety at the expense of user experience

Teresa J Conway 🧚🏻‍♀️
The Scarlett Letter

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Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Have you ever been in the middle of a promising chat on Ashley Madison, only to find your account suspended without warning? If so, you’re not alone. A recent discussion on r/adultery was steaming over the suspension of women’s accounts by Ashley Madison, often without an apparent reason.

Ashley Madison Account Suspensions: User Experiences

The discussion was sparked by a user who had four of her accounts suspended in quick succession. She expressed frustration, stating,

“I was chatting with the hottest dudes then I disappeared.”

Her experience was not unique. Other users chimed in, sharing similar stories of sudden account suspensions. One user, Next-Pollution-7180, lamented,

“Soo many good prospects just vanish after a couple messages.”

Reasons Behind Ashley Madison’s Female Account Suspensions

The reasons were a topic of much speculation. Some suggested that the suspensions could be due to an IP or MAC address ban, while others felt that real women on the platform were getting banned to keep men active and paying for the service. As one user, Herphornification, put it,

“A lot of women (real women who aren’t bots) get banned because they don’t want them taking guys off the site.”

How to Avoid Ashley Madison Account Suspension: User Strategies

Users shared strategies for dealing with these suspensions. Suggestions ranged from creating new accounts, using a different device, or employing a VPN to mask IP addresses. Some also recommended making contact via email to appeal the suspension, while noting that response times took up to five days, sometimes.

Gender Disparity in Ashley Madison Account Suspensions

Interestingly, they suggested suspensions disproportionately affected women’s accounts. This could be due to the fact that women’s accounts on Ashley Madison are free, making them an attractive target for scammers — the real target of the suspensions.

Men’s accounts, on the other hand, are validated through their payment process, reducing the likelihood of fraudulent activity.

I pointed this out in the discussion thread,

“It is usually best to let him tell you what apps he is on. They don’t suspend the paying customers. She can share usually after 24 hrs.”

Women can [maybe] avoid being blocked by not sending men personal contact info within 24 hours of initial contact. Men, it seems, are not usually limited, so it’s best for them to do it.

Men’s Perspective and Ashley Madison’s Response

While the discussion largely centered around women’s experiences, some men also expressed their concerns about the sudden disappearance of their matches. One user, JohnDoe2023, said,

“It’s frustrating when you’re having a good conversation and then they’re gone. Makes you wonder if they were real or not.”

Ashley Madison’s management has yet to provide a clear explanation for these suspensions. However, their customer service has been responsive to appeals, albeit with long response times.

My guess is if you’re having a good chat with her and she hasn’t asked for a Walmart gift card, she’s prolly real. Real and gone…

Ashley Madison Verification Process Fail

Anonymity is a key selling point for AM, or so you’d think. Well, for users who don’t want to blow up their personal lives, that is. However, a recent email I received from an Ashley Madison user raised a few questions about the platform’s commitment to user privacy. Here’s what they asked her to do:

(Screencap: Author from an Ashley Madison Customer Support email forwarded to me)

For those listening, the email said:

Your profile has recently come up for reivew and has been temporarily suspended.

In order to reinstate your account, we will need a selfie. In the photo, you must be holding a government-issued photo ID (driver’s license, passport) CLOSER to your face.

Please send the photo to the email address imagebank@ashleymadison.com.

We can ensure you that the photo will be used soley for idenification purposes an dwil lbe completely removed from our records after the verification

She expressed outrage at the request, stating,

“I find it outrageous for a website like AM, who relies on anonymity, to demand such sensitive proof of identification and expect to just be trusted with it.”

Despite her attempts to create new accounts using different emails and even a VPN, her accounts were automatically suspended each time.

This experience raises questions about Ashley Madison’s verification process and its impact on user privacy. While the platform may argue that this process is necessary to prevent scams and ensure the safety of its users, it also poses a potential risk to user privacy. This is a delicate balance that all online platforms must navigate, and it’s clear that some users feel Ashley Madison is not getting it right.

It’s clear that transparency and respect for user privacy will be key factors in the ongoing success of online dating platforms like Ashley Madison.

As my emailer closed her message, “The beat goes on.” Indeed. My question is, why do they make it so hard for a girl to get laid?

Takeaway

It seems AM is a platform grappling with the challenge of maintaining a safe and enjoyable environment for its users. While the suspensions may be a source of frustration for many, they also serve as a reminder of the importance of online safety and the complexities balancing that with user experience.

As online dating continues to evolve, Ashley Madison is going to have to find a balance between the two.

Let’s remember the words of only1lover, who despite her suspension, remains hopeful —

“I’ll find him and I’ll make it obvious that it’s me.”

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Open.ai’s ChatGPT 4 supported the development of this story.

© Teresa J. Conway, 2023

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