Did That Ashley Madison Chick Block Me?

How to tell

Teresa J Conway 🧚🏻‍♀️
The Scarlett Letter

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The sad little park bench when the user’s gone from your digital life. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

This weekend a client asked me to check a lady out for him. He’d been chatting with her and then it stopped — COLD. This was right after he mentioned the high school he’d gone to. He didn’t know what happened but thought the school was a little too close for comfort for her.

There was no goodbye, she was just gonzo.

He told me her profile name, age, and city, and I went looking for her. And there she was! I sent him the picture below and told him not to take it too hard.

There she is in the middle, 😢, still going strong while my poor client was left wondering what was going on. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

Did she block me?

Probably, but how can you tell without asking for your Faery Godmother of Adultery’s🧚🏻‍♀️ help or setting up another account?

You will see is this —

When you’re blocked, all you will see is her handle. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

And what is that? It’s a blank line the red arrow is pointing at between her handle “Suzie_Q76” and “Favorite”. If you notice in the picture below, there is information on that line when you aren’t blocked — Age/City/State

If you aren’t blocked, you’ll see her age and where she’s from. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

There’s not much of a difference and you might not notice at first because your conversation will still appear in your messages. When you open the chat, however, you’ll see that the comment box at the bottom of the page is greyed out so you can’t enter text —

“Send a message” is greyed out and the paperclip is subdued when you’re blocked. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

It looks like this if you aren’t blocked —

If you aren’t blocked, the “Send a message” section is white. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

But maybe you aren’t blocked!

If she hides her profile on the site, it will appear as if she’s blocked you, so you won’t know which it is. If she pops back up sometime later, her age and city/state will reappear under her name in your messages.

To hide your account, go to Settings → Account.

(Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

From Account, go to Security & Privacy → Hide Profile

(Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

And toggle it over so it shows green. Your profile will remain hidden until you turn it back on. Her age and location will no longer show up, as if you were blocked, and when you go to access her profile, you will get the park bench picture until she comes back—

(Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

Did she delete her account?

If you’ve had a conversation with someone and then the conversation disappears without a trace from your messages, go to your sent messages folder. In the message part of the app, press the folder in the top right on the phone, and you’ll get these three choices. Pick “Sent” to see what you’ve sent out —

(Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

When you look at the “Sent” messages, the ones with numbers instead of a handle means the account has been deleted —

These are men who sent me messages and then later closed their accounts. What I just discovered the other day is that Ashley Madison will send men messages like the one above “What if things…” and will put it in my sent folder so it looks like it came from me. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

If you open the conversation associated with one of these accounts, you will only see your side of it, as if you were talking to yourself (a client sent this one to me) —

The remains of a conversation with someone who deleted their account. Also note that the “Send a message” is also greyed out, and if you were to try to look at the profile, you’d see the park bench. (Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com)

In this case, he told me they’d picked a discussion back up about sexual fantasies they’d had earlier. The last thing she apparently said was something about not seeing herself with two men. Then he sent that last message you see above, and then…nothing.

Takeaway

Getting blocked sucks, even as a girl. In fact, it probably hurts more for a girl because it happens so rarely. As I tell the boys, never give up hope and always stay nice, but it still happens.

For men, I tell them to get used to it. If you don’t fit her type, she might block you just to make sure you don’t show up in her future searches.

She could have also hidden her profile. Maybe she met someone and wants to focus on them, or she could be lying low because hubby suspects something and is snooping around on the Ashley Madison. Who knows?

Finally, she could have deleted her account. This happens when she realizes she can’t go through with an affair. Perhaps the guilt of liking you is getting to her and she shuts it down. Or she had a close call with hub and talked herself out of having an affair. A lot of first-timers do this.

There’s good news and bad news here.

Unless you actually go looking for her with another account you won’t know if she blocked or hid, meaning it might not have been you, which is good news. And it’s the same with deleting her account — that was probably her and not you. No matter what, she’s saved you time and effort because there’s nothing like running into a dead-end after you think you’ve got a connection.

The bad news? It’s gonna sting for a while.

No matter what happens, pick yourself up and move on to the next one. There is someone out there for you.

Here’s what life is like for women in the first hour and a half of setting up their Ashley Madison profile —

Married dating support for men!

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© Teresa J. Conway, 2022

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