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I’ll never get that.
December 10, 2017
You know, I was rereading back through the months. Jeff does read my emails —all of them, all the way through. Because when I ask, he puts what I ask in his emails to me. Maybe not right away, so I don’t connect it. But I asked him to tell me I was a good person. And he did. In fact, he said it about five times in the same email. I think he was trying to pay it forward.
I wonder why he’s so cagey about it? What would it hurt him to tell me the truth? That he is invested in me to the degree he can be? That he gives me all he is able to give me? Even though I know that to be the case, I relentlessly pursue him for more and more and more of him. His heart. His mind. His time. His commitment? Yes. His commitment to this affair. I want that.
I’ll never get that.
