I’ll Take Three lovers, thanks! My AM shopping adventure…
How my crazy libido and paranoid psyche led me on an adulterous spree
It didn’t start this way. In fact it hardly started at all.
Like many of us cheaters, I spent years in denial. But then I turned a certain age and denial melted into a decision.
One minute I was bemoaning my sexless marriage and out-of-control sex drive. The next, I was trawling the infamous Ashley Madison website for married lovers.
There were hundreds. Most of them were more than acceptable. But one stood out as the ‘grown up’ that I was seeking.
We got into it pretty fast. The chat I mean. It felt amazing. We were definitely in that early relationship bubble. We had so much in common, wanted the same things in bed, planned our future as lovers, etc. This went on for months. Covid lock-down had hit and there was no meeting date on the horizon. But texting every day:
‘Good morning gorgeous!’
‘I can’t wait to taste you’
‘What will we do first when we meet?’
‘You make me so happy’
‘Sleep tight my darling’
Emoji-city. Bliss and torture.
While my heart was beating for lover #1, another part of my anatomy was pulsating. Let’s cut to the chase: I hadn’t had sex in five years in my marriage. I was sick of waiting!
Then there were the ruminations in my head:
What if I never meet up with #1?
What if he rejects me IRL?
I would be heartbroken and even more sex-starved.
What a waste of time it would all be.
Being a practical gal, I examined my options. There were plenty of them and they all lived in my area, which allowed for a face-to-face meeting. So I selected lovers #2 and #3. Why two and not one? Who knows??
As my wing-woman advised, “Once you’ve crossed the bridge, what does it matter how many ponies you bring along?”
They are polar opposites; my two guys. #2 is Spanish, a little compact ball of delicious muscle, emotional and passionate. He definitely ‘makes love’ to me. His skin smells like cedarwood, warm and comforting. His kisses are soft and loving. He adores me. He raves about my body and how lucky he is. He organizes every tryst and always wants more. What’s not to love?
#3 is Hawaiian, he has a massive build. His technical skills in sex are very high. He was the first man to make me squirt, without appearing to try. He is forceful in a respectful way, which is definitely what I’m up for. He brings music and wine and bends me in every direction because he knows I love it. He’s a lot younger — if it was a high school pregnancy I could be his mother…
And what of lover #1, you may ask? The original, the gold standard? Well, he’s still in the cards, a slow burn.
He has been reticent about consummating our long-burning desires. I’m confused. Surely he should be gagging for it? Something tells me he may have been a bad buying decision. He doesn’t know there are two other players in this game. Two other players who are not reticent, who show me in glorious physical ways how virile they are. He thinks I burn for him alone…
Who is playing who now?
So I have organized a date (as I told you — practical). I am still clinging to the idea that he is my perfect lover and that our future will be effortless joy. That his reluctance to meet will be explained convincingly. Even as I write that I see how little it stacks up.
But this is how it works with this strange activity of adultery. It’s a game — existing outside real life. Most of it belongs in some fantasy porn video. None of it belongs in the real world of children, pets, groceries, staff meetings, and married life.
Will #1 be worth the wait? Is he all talk no action? How will he compare to the others? And for Lord’s sake, what is my game plan with these people???
Have I lost all my marbles?
Don’t answer. Please.
I have no solutions. And for now, I’m enjoying being on this three-guy-roller coaster. Even though I know where it will end.
