The good thing about having an affair is that we know what turns each other on. No “what if’s” or “I don’t feel like it” or “not now” crap. We don’t play games with each other. We want to be together at that moment more than anything else in our crazy lives.
My husband rejects me year after year. Over a half a decade of no sex pushed me to cheat. My lover’s wife doesn’t allow penetration for more than one or two minutes because of pain. They both ignore our needs. They don’t kiss or caress or linger. But we do.
We want to please and be pleased. This is everything we desperately demand.
Do I want more?
This glorious sexuality is enough for right now. In the future, probably not. But for this moment it’s all I need.
“Room 213,” he texts.
I knock softly at the door and hear his heavy footsteps.
He’s wrapped in a white towel, snug around his trim waist. His dark body hair curling.
I bury my face in his chest and breathe him in.
“Oh, I’m so glad to see you.”
“God, I want you so badly. I missed you,” my lover says as he hungrily eyed my breasts in my black tank top.
“I didn’t wear a bra.”
“Good,” as he pulled out each pale nipple and fastens his mouth on them.
He pushes me backwards towards the bed, reaching under my plump white ass pulling my yoga pants off in one swoop. Just for him I didn’t wear underwear.
He positions me at the edge of the mattress and crouches over my body while kneeling on the floor. I’m panting with anticipation. His mouth starts softly.
“Ohhhh….mmm. What are you doing to me?” I mumble.
“You are delicious.”
He doesn’t rush spending time between my legs. Patient when I’m bucking my hips and thrashing, he holds me down firmly.
No excuses. Not like what I get at home.
“You want what?”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Aren’t you done yet?”
“Why can’t you be satisfied?”
I might be satisfied if I orgasmed. If you could tell that I am faking it EVERY single time. If you weren’t so rough. If you listened to what I need. If I could find a way to make you go slower. If I could get what I wanted.
But I can’t get what I want from my spouse. He’s not willing to try to please me.
So my options are in this hotel room
I am getting what I need.
It’s so simple.
We don’t skimp on pleasing each other. The joy of discovering what we both desire is paramount.
“What doesn’t she do?” I ask my lover.
“Ha. Nothing. Everything is perfunctory.”
“She barely tries,” he adds.
“It’s just over so quickly and I get nothing out of it.”
“At least you still get sex.”
“Well it’s not enjoyable. Not like with you,” he says reaching over and fondling my ass.
“No sex for me. Thank God I found you,” I say laughing.
“I just can’t believe he doesn’t want you.”
“Yeah, I know. I gave up long ago trying to fix things in the bedroom between us. Just wasn’t going to get better,” I mutter.
“If I had you at home, we’d be busy every night.”
We both know it’s never going to happen. We won’t leave our spouses. No matter how bad it is at home. The costs are too high. The road too steep. We can’t “just leave.”
We can dream about a marriage where we both want the same things but it isn’t going to happen. In fairytales there’s a happy ending. In real life we get compromises. We find what’s missing where we can.
That brings me back to laying in his arms sweaty in the cool white hotel room.
We aren’t lost in our marriages any longer, just in each other.
Subscribe to The Scarlett Letter https://bit.ly/2CMiIbM
Follow me at MonalisaSmiled@substack.com and buy me a chai tea (my fave!) at MonalisaSmiled@patreon.com