No, Not Everybody Loves Raymond

Mooning the World

Photo by Julia Joppien on Unsplash

My wife sometimes puts “Everybody Loves Raymond” reruns on the TV.

When the show first hit the airwaves in 1996, I wasn’t of age to be home watching sitcoms. I was in my early twenties, enjoying what would end up becoming the last great five years of my life.

So while I wasn’t aware of the show, I was always a Peter Boyle fan. I never even watched it once it hit syndication, regardless of how I felt about Mr. Boyle’s performance in 1984’s Johnny Dangerously.

With this show on the TV in the background, naturally, I would hear it while reading. After a while, I began to pay a little attention after hearing the constant whining of this man protruding into my headspace.

And what I saw frightened me, shook me to my core. It made all my toes curl. My testicles were so disturbed that they packed up all their things, kissed their kids, and moved up into my stomach.

I’m sorry if this ruins it for you; I have to be blunt.

This show is depressing as fuck.

Here are some thoughts. Now that I’m a little more seasoned as an adult.

1. Raymond is bullied and threatened by women. As a result, his primary function is to avoid anything that may upset them. Any attempts at humor are usually met with rolling eyes, a threat, or an insult.
2. He begs his wife constantly for sex, and even when she does agree to the dastardly deed, she has to make it out to be a chore. 95% of the time, she rolls her eyes and has to be chased into the bedroom for who knows what?
3. Let’s not forget that if, and this is a big IF, his wife is in the mood, he acts like a 13-year-old the entire time. Then if the wife gets turned off by this routine, Ray goes to the only emotion he is allowed to have, shame.
4. He takes no pride in how he looks or dresses. Even when he does go out to a romantic dinner with his uninterested wife, he dresses like a slob. He is usually pouting for whatever reason when he gets there, more interested in food than anything else.
5. He has no interest in his wife other than not pissing her off, getting away from her, or trying to fuck her. Depending on the episode, it could be one or all three motives.
6. He’s a bully to his big brother Robert, who has a masculine job, a better dating profile, and larger physical stature than Raymond. It’s clear why he picks on him, as he is redirecting the shame. Let’s be honest about Robert; he was a Pimp.
7. The wife constantly is bickering and nagging at him, destroying his masculinity at every turn, making him a shell of what his father had hoped for him. His father does not miss an opportunity to remind him of this.
8. He hardly stands up for himself, and when he does, he’s a blubbering idiot who can’t explain himself or his needs. If he can speak clearly, he is either laughed at or manipulated into forgetting his issue by food or sex.
9. He lets his Narcissistic Mother run his relationships with everything, including his marriage, children, siblings, and sex life. She spends more time plotting and manipulating than being authentic, even with her Grandchildren.
10. The show consistently portrays sex as a reward for good behavior for men, in every relationship, portrayed by every adult character.

These examples are not a good representation of healthy relationships.

And some Men grew up watching this and think this is how Husbands are supposed to act.

And some Women grew up watching this and think this is how Wives are supposed to act.

And what about the Significant Others of those men and women?

They’re probably looking for something more than 24 minutes of a rerun.

Fuck Raymond

Moon Man