Ashley Madison’s Sex Workers
If she asks for money, she’s not a housewife
DarkKnightReturns (DKR) is one of several men I’m helping find a married friend on Ashley Madison. It’s been fun so far, but DKR ran into an interesting snag the other day I’ve never encountered. The lady he was chatting with asked for money in exchange for a date, and we all know what that sounds like.
PSA — I am not judging her, in fact, far from it. I support sex workers 100%. Women (and men) should be allowed to legally sell sexual services so they don’t have to do things like this. Why? It will keep sex workers safe — and it can be taxed. And I’m not so sure the sex worker in this story is safe.
Back to our story
If you’ve been following along, you’ve heard how my chat with DKR has been going on Ashley Madison (AM). First, he told me to blow when I said he should stop using a baby-face filter on his AM profile but he came around and replaced it with a nice picture. I then helped make his profile more attractive to the ladies by doing a rewrite.
He was still having difficulty connecting with women, so I told him to pick one or two, and I would write intro messages for him. Here’s one of those messages –
Hi Candy, I checked out your profile, and I think I’m the guy for you. I’m single, but not looking for a serious relationship right now. I am looking for a special friend to spend time with, take care of, and spoil with attention. I’m affectionate, like to chat between meets, and enjoy cuddling on the couch. I’ve got my own place, value my privacy, and would respect yours too. I’m not a sugar daddy, but if you give me half a chance, I’ll be your sugar bear. Check out my profile and let me know what you think!
In search of sugar daddy
See that line, I’m not a sugar daddy? Candy mentioned that she’d be interested in a sugar daddy situation if it came up. I didn’t think DKN would be into that, so I specifically wrote this into his message. DKN is a good-looking 30-something man who doesn’t need to pay for arm candy. He’s looking for a no-strings-attached (NSA) friend for fun times in the bedroom, not a girlfriend or relationship; and who better than a married woman for that?
I sent him the message and waited a day or so to see what happened. While I’m not needy [I’m needy], I was anxious to see how it went! Your Faery Godmother of Adultery does care about her dear hearts after all. I also wanted to know if my approach in this message worked. I write opening messages for men, so I like to know if they’re getting hits because you can’t exactly sell a service that doesn’t work.
The follow up
Your Faery Godmother (YFGM) — I dying [to know]!! Any luck with the message?
DarkKnightReturns — We talking. But in order for her to go out…her husband have to have us pay a fee for her to go out. Like he wants her to get a sugar daddy to help pay their bills. smh.
You read that right — her husband collects a service charge from his wife so she can step out.
YFGM — So, she’s a hooker…nice
DKR — yea…i told her i don’t do the sugar daddy situation. So far she still chatting with me.
As I suspected, DKR isn’t a sugar daddy, but she kept him on the line because she was still trying to land him.
YFGM — So maybe it was my message, or maybe it’s because she’s looking for cash lol
This was a letdown because any feedback from this would be tainted. I’m assuming she’d respond to all her messages, as I would if I approached married dating as a business.
DKR — ugh…she was cool as hell until she want cash to hang out. her and her hubby’s agreement. Smh
The Scam. DKR isn’t taken in by this and sees it for what it is, but as he says, “she was cool as hell.” She got him on the line and reeled him in. Men, in general, are stupid when it comes to getting some action, so a lonely married man in a dead bedroom with a bit of money might try to ‘help’ this poor girl out rather than see what’s happening.
YFGM — Dude’s pimping her out. You should tell her you want to try before you buy lol
If you think you’re talking to a pro or not, this is a good approach. A woman selling sex isn’t giving away a freebies as a loss leader, so if she says no, you at least know who you are dealing with. Why’s this good? If you’re an easy mark, she might put you on her sucker list and start milking you.
DKR — That’s what i told her. She said he’s not…its an agreement. He’s not giving her what she wants so he lets her go out, but with a fee. Don’t make no damn sense to me honestly…but whatever. lol
YFGM — It’s pretty fucked up. Maybe that’s his way of convincing her she’s not a prostitute…
And this is what I mean when I say legalizing sex work will make it safer for women. In this case, the woman is being pimped or trafficked by her “husband” through an “arrangement.” Or she is someone’s wife, and this “fee” is hub’s way of making her feel better about selling sex to pay the bills. Either way, she is not in control of her sexuality and is being forced to monetize it for someone else.
That leads to other questions: is she being forced to work? How much does she get to keep? What happens when she doesn’t convert conversations to paying clients? What other scams do they have going? Will they blackmail or extort you if you’re married?
DKR — yea….he knows of some guys she talk to but wants a fee when she decides to go out. Does sound like it.
DKR — ugh. i just want to find a girl to chill and have fun with…without paying cash for it. Smh
I hear you, DKR! I hear you!
Takeaway
If you find yourself chatting with someone on a dating app and the convo turns to money, the first thing you should ask yourself is — am I dealing with a sex worker or being scammed (or both)?
At that point you have a choice to make:
- Little head choice — pay to play and manage the risks as they come
- Big head choice — move on
When I read her profile, I got no indication she was a sex worker or being pimped. The sugar baby line appeared at the end of her profile write-up, and to me, it looked like she was being coy or cutesy — not selling a service. I thought I dealt with that in the opening message and assumed she’d get the message. She probably got it, but like any good sales women, ignored and made her pitch.
The bottom line is this — when asked for money, know you aren’t talking to a lonely, bored, or neglected lady. You’re talking to a professional, be that a sex worker or scammer, and both know how to land a fish far better than you do.
Consider yourself warned!
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2021
