The 7 Types of Cheaters You Never Knew

MonalisaSmiled
The Scarlett Letter
4 min readApr 15, 2021

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We’re not all the same…

Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels

We all have different motivations to drive us to “affairing.”

I see you.

In my time as a cheater and writing about this lifestyle, I’ve seen many different species of an adulterer. Which one are you?

The Romantic’s:

Looking for love. These are the ones that want the closeness and intimacy with another partner. The good-morning hottie texts. The “Goodnight, baby’s.” The I-just-need-to-see-your-face pics.

“I want to share everything with you,” lovers.

These are the men I look for. I rarely find them. Where are they? Usually trapped in loveless marriages suffering soundlessly. When they decide to cheat, it’s ALL IN. The kind of guys I like. No holding back, no caveats, no limits.

Adultery Gods, please send me a romantic any day now. I’m ready.

The Cake Eater’s:

I’ve written plenty about the cake eaters. The first article I published was about my experience with one. This guy blew me away with his callousness. It was like talking to the Jeffrey Dahmer of adultery.

“Where did you bury your other AP’s?” I felt like asking. Under the stairs?

Special? No one is feeling special in this affair.

It’s purely transactional.

A swipe of a credit card is more erotic. I think I might get off on that purchase at Ulta more than being in bed with him.

This is when your affair partner has plenty of cake at home but wants more dessert out. Like maybe salted caramel ice cream or a cannoli. Smirk. The sex is just sex.

The Escapee’s:

Hello, there. They need a release from the monotony of life.

An affair? Sounds perfect!

“Let’s shake things up a bit,” is their tagline. “I can’t waste more time…” or “Life is too short not to get what we want.” Ahem, I agree!

The adrenaline, the rush of cheating, gets them hooked. It’s a high. “Don’t you just love the getting-away-with-it part?” “Uh, yes?” If I didn’t get away with it, it would be tragic.

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MonalisaSmiled
The Scarlett Letter

Adultery 101. Dead Bedrooms. Sex out of network. I am terrible and human. So are you. Editor of The Scarlett Letter | P.S. I Hate You | Sexpressions.