The Journey to Freedom
Life officially as a widow
It’s been a little over 6 months since my husband passed away, officially making me a widow. Prior to that, I had separated (though not legally) from my husband due to the only way I can say this — emotional turmoil. I had lost myself over the years due to my husbands’ verbal tirades. Years of emotional abuse had taken its toll and I finally had enough. I was fully prepared to leave my marriage knowing it was likely going to bankrupt me and take away 50% or more of the assets I had brought/ made into our marriage including my home. I just didn’t care. As I said, the unknown looked far better than how I felt in my marriage. I was terribly unhappy.
I'm writing today about hope; hope for the future. Happiness. Jumping into the deep end without a life raft; not knowing if I would be saved by the coast guard. I lept into the murky waters alone to save myself. Those first months were not easy. Oh no, dear readers, as I’ve said, I alone made the choice to leave fully knowing my husband had a shit ton of chronic debilitating illnesses. He physically needed me. But time and time again, he showed me emotionally he did care about my thoughts or my feelings.
Had we been able to be friends; great roommates, whatever dead-bedroom couples call themselves that actually get along; maybe I could have stayed. Aside from our…
