Member-only story
Why Do We Stay In This “Merry-Go-Round” Lifestyle?
Why do cheaters cheat?
Why do we stay in this merry-go-round lifestyle?
What are our true motives? Why are we here? Why do we cheat?
Deep questions, I know.
I read thousands of posts on r/adultery. And I listen to my readers’ stories. So many are the same. We are in dead bedrooms. Being ignored by our spouses. Men and women have their sexual needs shut down — pain and longing for something more.
And that’s true.
But maybe there are things we aren’t articulating (perhaps not even admitting it to ourselves). Things that show why we are really here in adultery land.
You say your spouse doesn’t appreciate you, but is there a hidden need you’d like to have in all of this?
What is your want behind your want?
Do you know?
* Is it bad self-esteem?
I know that’s the case for me. I’ve had an indifferent husband for decades. A demanding and exacting mother who left me feeling always “less than.” My affair partner jokes that when I start with negative self-talk, he doesn’t want to talk to my mom.
