Why Not Love a Lover and Spouse? Part 1
I love you both now, not later.
An affair relationship is a paradoxical sandbox, existing in both fantasy and reality. It’s a casino of emotions — a delicate ecosystem unique in its complexity, creating and supporting the feeling of being alive for its participants while ignoring the reality that this dynamic will end.
Affairs are designed to create hope and thrill in impermanence.
Hope for more.
Thrills because they are inherently exciting.
There are no hard rules in this fantasy.
Individuals roll the dice and create the rules as they go along. No one outside of the fantasy can fully understand the rules. Nor should they. In an affair, all the paradoxes comfortably coexist with reality.
One can be honest and lie; one can be vulnerable and closed-off; one can love and not love.
Isn’t that crazy?
It’s a conundrum.
Again, what is love? Is it being vulnerable? Is it being open? How does trust fit in? Affair partners, I’d argue, care and don’t care.
It’s their world. Their game. Their rules. Conflicts that arise between affair partners are creatively resolved within this sandbox. Or not.
Cheaters have the extreme highs and lows. All the pain of lying and the joys of lust combined. This is why this “lifestyle” is damn addictive like sugary treats which are so hard to kick out of your diet.
Meanwhile, the every-day reality for adulterers is that, statistically, affairs have no future. Any google search will list a number of studies showing infidelity’s impermanent nature.
How to love something that is by default fleeting? Why play the love-chip against these odds?
Casinos are scientifically crafted to make anyone walking in feel like they have a chance to win. Every chip, by hope and design, is a winner. Affairs are designed the same way, declaring that true love is possible in this context.
Casinos use all the bells and whistles.
The illusion of the frequent “BIG WIN” to entice us into still playing. They ply us with food and drink. They keep us on edge with glamour. There isn’t a clock in sight. You are supposed to lose track of time. All the exits are tough to find. The casino is a maze.
Maybe affairs are the same way.
The ability to walk into a fantasy and be lured into a labyrinth.
No winners here.
Splitting a love-chip between two? There will be one winner. And it won’t be you.
Read part 2 soon!
