If you want a fast track to staying poor, go ahead and cheat. You can’t afford it. Setting aside the morality of cheating — you don’t have the resources, big man. Jeff Bezos can divorce his wife and keep the same lifestyle, but not you. The alimony and legal fees alone are enough to burden you for the rest of your life.
An intelligent decision is to keep it in your pants. Spend your time and money strengthening your relationship. Just because you are a man doesn’t give you a free pass to cheat. You aren’t born a cheater. No gene exists that makes you prone to cheat.
Hill Harper, says “we’ve got to get past stereotypes and recognize that men and women are both capable of being unfaithful.” The often-used excuse when men get caught, “his just a man,” belongs in the past. If you find anyone using that excuse, tell them “1980 called and wants its excuse back”.
Cheating won’t make you rich
For men, cheating helps cover up insecurities. Their flagging ego often coincides with a mid-life crisis. Robert Weiss, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, says:
men feel like they are too old (or too young), not handsome enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, etc…the sextracurricular spark of interest makes them feel wanted, desired, and worthy.
The ego boost comes at too high a cost, though. Your short-lived gains end up taking money out of your pocket — leaving you back at square one, feeling not handsome, rich, or smart enough. The risk-reward ratio is against you. It’s a game you can’t win.
Doubling your expenses
The cost of living a double life is high. One survey puts the cost of an affair at $450 a month. It’s not impossible when you factor in hotels, travel, extra cellphone, eating out, gifts, etc. Even if you were frugal and can reduce that amount to $100 per month, that’s still over $1000 per year.
Your affair will keep you poor, trading time for money. Instead of upping your investments, you are upping your expenses. You won’t reach financial freedom that way.
Instead of cheating, invest $1000 in an investment asset that grows at 10% per year, and then add $200 per month — you will end up with $41,000 after ten years. Is your short-term joy from cheating worth missing out on $41,000?
It would be a no-brainer if you critically weigh the risks and rewards. It will help you quit spending the little money you have on an activity that keeps you poor.
A handicap is for playing golf and not finances. It’s hard enough trying to build wealth at the best of times. But, having to do it post-divorce requires a great effort. You have to deal with legal fees, alimony, and the separation of assets.
You can’t afford to lose half of your assets. Jeff Bezos can, yet he doesn’t lose half his asset because he has lawyers on speed dial. They ensure he doesn’t lose much of his wealth. Bezos settled his divorce for $38 billion yet remained the world’s richest person. To put it crudely, he can afford to cheat, but not you.
I don’t condone cheating, but financially, it’s clear that some people can afford to cheat. They might even benefit from the fiasco. It’s not fair, but that’s the way of the world. You better understand this reality before you go out cheating.
Cheating is exhausting. It’s a full-time job having to cover your tracks. You are better off spending that time and effort in starting a side hustle business. Contrary to popular belief, side hustles aren’t easy. There are no quick rich schemes. Anyone who says differently is selling.
If you live double lives, you won’t have the energy and time left over to create extra income on the side.
Even if side hustles didn’t interest you, your professional life is bound to suffer. You are likely to lose promotions due to juggling too many things. You can’t do or have it all.
Spend your time creating instead of cheating. Time is the most precious resource you have. The money you can lose and get back, but not time — once you use it, that’s it.
Formula for riches
You already know the formula for riches. It isn’t complex — finish your high school, stay employed, commit to a relationship, and then have babies. Mix up that order or go back on your commitments, and you will struggle.
Many factors can disrupt that order, like disability, death, injustice, cheating, etc. You don’t have to worry about things you can’t affect, but cheating isn’t one of those. Cheating is entirely in your control.
A glance at your bank account will remind you that you can’t afford to cheat. You are just too broke. So, please keep your pants on and stop playing with fire, my friend. Don’t jeopardize your happiness.