Poltu-cally Incorrect: Nehru Hall Punches Integrity in the Face
The Scholars’ Avenue wholeheartedly congratulates Jawaharlal Nehru Hall of Residence for their exemplary performance in the sports GC as they defeated LBS Hall of Residence in a nail biting brawl. The two halls fulfilled the formality of a basketball match preceding the event, the result of which held no relevance (Nehru lost though).
The obliteration of LBS hall in the brawl has rendered the rest of the GC moot — truly a show stopper. No more convoluted ways of comparing virility between men of halls will be necessary. Why bother counting how many times you can put a ball in a hole, when you can both just whip your dicks out and smack each other until someone faints long enough for you to dismember their dicks, march in laps around the campus holding it as a trophy and finally use it to adorn the walls of your precious hall of residence.
The administration has followed suit and identified an opportunity to expand the sports GC by introducing an event called ‘Most Fragile Male Ego’. The event involves participants making assumptions about the opponent’s family until one of them breaks down into a histrionic outburst. The outburst will then be rated on a scale of zero to eight inches, zero being the best. The winner is crowned ‘The Best Man Ever’.
*Motilal Nehru Hall is fine though. The apple did fall far from the tree, just like the ball fell far from Nehru’s basket countless times.
