Imposter Syndrome in a Distributed Dev Team
Throughout my 18+ year career as a Designer, then a Flash Animator/Programmer, and now finally a cross-breed Frontend Developer, I’ve been an Imposter Syndrome sufferer.
If you haven’t come across this concept, Imposter Syndrome leads to thoughts of inadequacy that stick around even if evidence to the contrary exists. Thoughts along the lines of “Am I a real developer, or am I just pretending to be one? What if everyone figures out that I don’t really know what I’m doing?”.
These insecurities seem to exist regardless of my speciality, the amount of experience I gain, accolades I receive or knowledge that I pick up. The thoughts do seem to dissipate after positive colleague or client feedback, but they inevitably creep back.
In the fast-paced, ever-changing web/app development world, it doesn’t take much to feel like you’re lacking in a particular area. There is always a new framework to try out, a new browser or device to support, and as soon as you start feeling comfortable with one, a new version gets released. This constant state of “one step behind” creates the perfect storm where self-evaluation leads to the conclusion: “I am not as good as I should be”
As my career has progressed, I’ve gone from working in single-office teams to remote-working and distributed teams. The freedom and focus that you’re afforded when being able to work remotely, combined with the ability to have colleagues across the world, is beyond doubt the way to go. It comes with many benefits, but one of the downsides is reduced face-to-face contact.
Tools like Slack have certainly made it a breeze to have quick and efficient communication with team members, but not necessarily deep, honest interactions. The connections that develop when working face-to-face with colleagues, and the constant exposure to their behind-the-scenes process, allows you to get the full picture of their abilities and skill level.
On the flip side, when most of your interactions are quick and you don’t regularly sit next to someone, you only end up seeing their final, polished product, and not the messy drafts, mistakes or restarts that lead them to that point.
And as is human nature, comparison sets in, and before you know it the Imposter Syndrome spiral is in full swing:
Never fear, hope is near
I sometimes wish that I could live without comparison and self-doubt, but I’ve come to realise that it’s something that will always be a part of my makeup. In my experience, it’s entirely possible to function and excel despite these thoughts. And since I have come to prefer working remotely, I’ve had to find ways to challenge my self-doubt in even more targeted ways.
Here are a few general Imposter Syndrome strategies, and some remote-working-specific ones that have helped me over the years:
- Remind yourself that it’s more common than you think
In those self-doubting moments, remember that the vast majority of devs have those same thoughts. No-one is as perfect as you think. I find it helpful to have an example of a fellow Imposter Syndrome sufferer at the front of my mind in those moments. This often lifts me out of those isolating thoughts. - Don’t aim to stop comparison altogether
It’s impossible to eliminate comparison entirely — it is part of the human experience. Instead, do it accurately and fairly: compare failures against failures and highlights against highlights. - Connect intentionally
Even though online communication tools have their limits, they can definitely be used to create meaningful connections. Be intentional in getting to know team members. Personal connections lead to reduced feelings of isolation. - Turn on that webcam
It often makes sense to have audio-only online meetings (bandwidth and speed issues), but where possible turn on the video. To be able to look people in the eye, even digitally, makes a big difference in connecting to them. - Perfection-seeking is a trap
This seems obvious, but when you’re down the code rabbit hole, and feel like you’re the world’s worst dev, it’s not as obvious. In those moments, it’s easy to convince yourself that you should reach a level where you code without silly mistakes, know all CS theory, and remember all the syntax. Be realistic and gentle on yourself. Aim to constantly improve, rather than reach master level in everything. - Ask for help
Make a habit of reaching out to fellow devs. Share your frustrations and fears honestly. Acknowledging and admitting a lack in your understanding and experience is incredibly freeing. Even more importantly, asking for help early on in a particular struggle can be incredibly beneficial. There is no need to go off on a tangent for too long. Lean on team members, because they might have the exact trick or solution that you need. And sometimes the simple act of explaining a problem allows you to look at it from a new angle, and you might get to the solution yourself. - Get a mentor who “gets it”
It would be ideal to have someone who you can “ask for help” on a regular basis, regardless of their physical location. ADO is filled with super smart people, so there are lots of options. Find someone who has what you want, and ask them to regularly to weigh in on your challenges, skills and accomplishments. - Turn feelings of inadequacy into learning opportunities
Instead of feeling intimidated by someone with more knowledge or experience than you, make it your goal to learn from them. I bet you’d be surprised by how generous people are with their knowledge. - Pride can be your biggest enemy
This is definitely the toughest. It’s easy to convince myself that I need to know more, be better and have more experience. And somehow, we’ve come to believe that admitting this to anyone would surely lead to rejection and massive embarrassment. But without fail, when I’ve admitted to a lack in my knowledge on a wide range of topics, the freedom, relief, and eventual upskilling that occurred has been immense.
I have (mostly) made peace with the fact that Imposter Syndrome will follow me around for the foreseeable future. But the more I acknowledge and share my fears and self-doubt, the easier it is to keep moving forward to make connections with amazing humans.
Hi, my name is Riaan. I have Imposter Syndrome, and that’s ok.
Excellent posts about Imposter Syndrome:
https://www.freshbooks.com/blog/imposter-syndrome
https://medium.com/learn-love-code/developers-how-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome-48edee803cf4
https://www.quietrev.com/3-tips-for-overcoming-fraud-syndrome
Image source: https://medium.com/learn-love-code/developers-how-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome-48edee803cf4
