I have not yet begun to defile myself.

My Hypocrisy Goes Only So Far

You know me, but you don’t. That’s probably the best description of anyone on the Internet, isn’t it?

It’s my defense mechanism. I’ve replaced my countenance with Val Kilmer’s portrayal of a real historical gentleman dentist, gambler and gun-toting badass. It’s padding. I need a bit of padding. I mean, you know how baseball players wear cups right? It’s that kind of padding. You can take a line drive right in the crotch, but it’ll hurt less, or maybe even not at all.

There comes a time in every drinking and gambling and writing cycle, where you get fed up with Medium and you quit, and then you write a post about quitting Medium, and then a bunch of other people write posts about your post about quitting Medium. This does not happen to be one of those times for me. This is one of those times where I stand in my defensive posture and prepare my body for the reckoning.

I have my padding. I’m ready.

You’re a Daisy if You Do

I want to be a daisy.

Everyone should want to be a daisy. Being a daisy means that you’re generally good, grand, great, marvelous even. So how can I be marvelous if I flee at the first sign of attack? I couldn’t. I would be no daisy — no daisy at all.

My normal defensive posturing involves ignoring problems until they go away or at least until they become someone else’s problem. This is a trick I picked up from my religious upbringing. I’m very adept at pretending that problems don’t exist and never talking about them again. It’s only recently that I’ve discovered that’s “not healthy.”

So, my uncomfortable and new defensive posturing involves me uncomfortably and defensively talking about things that are bothering me on Medium instead of confusing and distracting people with sub-headers.

I Know! Let’s Have a Spelling Contest!

Trolls. Do trolls exist on Medium? Absolutely. They exist everwharr. That’s a thing. That’s the Interwebs for you. Just leave it be. It’s a thing. Just leave it.

Thing is… I have not found that many trolls here. I probably shouldn’t have uttered that out loud. I may have just invited doom upon us all. There are some trolls for sure and more probably coming, but I’ll deal with that later.

No, see, lately I’ve found that there’s been just a constant influx of assholes. Just some real pieces of work that leave you silently mouthing “wow” and closing your browser window so you can go think about some real philosophical shit for a bit and avoid Internet fisticuffs until you’ve sufficiently exorcised your mind-demons.

It’s a slow leak, and I can’t find its source, but there you have it.

The options are thus:

  • Deal with it. *cue descending sunglasses*
  • Ignore it.
  • Leave.

I have chosen door number one: Deal with it.

It goes against everything in my nature to deal with things.

I am what one might call a pansy, but I want to be a daisy, and so my choice, it seems, has been made for me.

Say When. ’Cause I ain’t leavin’.