Honest Opinion Of People Who Dated Someone With Anxiety
Dating is a blessing for many people but is it so when you are dating someone with anxiety?
Many people fall in love and later realize that their partners were suffering from one or another kind of mental illness. While having it is not anywhere near wrong, handling someone with such issues becomes a big task.
This blog is a mixture of talks with various people who have dated someone in their life- who was suffering from anxiety or a high-end mental issue. After talking to multiple people, these are the thoughts and insights about relationships with anxious people.
Before I begin to write about what people feel and have been through, I just wanted to share some interesting things that I found out.
Most people did not know their partner’s mental and anxiety issues before they got into a relationship.
Most people did not even know they were suffering from mental issues before their partners identified it for them.
Many issues that started with anxiety turned into torture when not handled efficiently.
At a later part in their relationship, they understood what mental issues are, and their partner’s suffering.
Let’s start with what it is like to date someone who has anxiety. Also, to keep it simple, A is someone with anxiety, and YOU are B.
Challenges
- Almost Everyday Is A Struggle
When you date a person with anxious thoughts and issues, they tend to be overwhelming and controlling. They often dictate what you should be doing, which is exhausting as you lose your space. As A’s anxiety attacks, the entire burden falls on B to take care of, which is a struggle for him/her, equipping oneself with high EQ and calming mechanisms. As soon as A falls on B, and it happens daily, and B is not ready for this- the relationship becomes daunting, and you might want to get rid of it.
2. Toxicity Can Kill Your Spirit
In many cases where the anxiety issues were high and A was not ready to go to counseling and get treated, the entire relationship turned toxic. After stretching the relationship, the end was breaking up, which results in trauma for A and painful memories for B. As it is rightly said, only love between two people isn’t enough for a long-lasting relation. Not handling anxiety in relationships well ended up as a traumatic experience for both partners.
3. You May End Up Blaming Yourself
In many scenarios where anxiety led to fights, A was found blaming B for not being too understanding, compassionate, or empathetic. This misunderstanding resulted in many doubts in the mind of B for themselves as they found themselves lesser. Such incidents acted as triggers for them as they wanted to be there but did not know to get it done. In the end, their practicality cost them their peace-which resulted in them many times blaming themselves for not being a good human and partner.
4. Being Available 24*7
Your partner should be your priority, but that can’t happen if it intrudes on your personal life. People with anxiety can have irrational and useless thoughts that may result in them spying on you. They might have thoughts of you leaving them, cheating them, or doing something bad. To please their feelings, they want you to be at their beck and call 24*7. This demand includes a lot of sacrifice on your end, which is not possible for everyone.
5. Helplessness Is a Common Feeling
If you hate feeling helpless, a relationship with a person with anxiety is not your cup of tea. This helplessness is so, as many times you will fail miserably in consoling your partner. You will want to help them, but it just wouldn’t be possible. In many such scenarios, your peace will take a toll, and you, too, might develop traumatic feelings. This trauma might even result in mental issues for you.
Is It All That Bad?
It is not impossible, and not all relationships like this end in a breakup. After talking to multiple people, I realized that if both partners identify their flaws and are ready to work together, they can overcome such struggles and even learn to live with them. Some of the things that anxiety improved in their relationship were:
>They turned more empathetic and compassionate towards multiple people as they could identify hints of anxiety. This anxiety resulted in them prophesying about mental wellness and even motivating many people to get therapy.
>They learned to be more giving and enjoying little moments together. As they understood their partner’s trauma, past baggage, their love for each other grew.
>When you help elevate other humans and make them happy, it is a blessing to develop a whole new love and respect for yourself.
>Their partners forced them to be more understanding because they thought they had become a better version of themselves.
>Also, many people realized that they were suffering from anxiety because their partners also had similar issues. This similarity resulted in both of them going for therapies and counseling.
Growing together, eh?
Last Words
Relationships in themselves are not easy, and when you have a partner who deals with mental issues, the struggle becomes real. People face multiple challenges, but if you are truly in love and your anxious partner wishes to get well, the relationship can become a safe space.
If you have a partner who does not deal with their anxiety, ignores it, and dumps all pain on you, make sure you are ready for it. But, if your partner is a sweetheart and aims to make everything better, the best thing to do is to fall in love with self, with therapy, and with years of togetherness!
