Let Go!
Do we let go or learn to carry the pain with grace?
Why do we create such a hue and cry to Let Go?
How far is it justified to ask someone who has just lost a partner or has had a heartbreak to Let Go, and move on in life? Is it that easy? NO!
Don’t you think we need to change the entire perspective behind this theory of letting go? Clearly defining letting go in simple words is the art of relieving ourselves from past situations, people, beliefs, relations, pain, guilt, etc.
Now, does this imply we forget our memories and pain?
No, it simply means we work on carrying our pain gracefully. It is a continuous, ongoing process and requires a lot of perseverance and effort. Persistence is the key to master this arduous art.
We as humans have learned to cling on to our possessions, relations, children, wealth, loved ones, situations, believing we have ownership of all these. So, when we lose any of these thinking it was ours, it’s challenging to Let Go. We all need to master this art to face the challenges that life keeps throwing on us.
For an ordinary woman like me, it remained a herculean task to master this extraordinary art of carrying the pain gracefully. I would often break down at least once a day and weep to sleep, trying to make sense and be at peace. Listening to several talks on letting go would only provide temporary relief but did not offer a permanent solution.
So, what was missing from all these talks?
The modus operandi.
Let’s explore together a few things I practiced to Let Go of my pain and past.
- Acknowledge your fears and Embrace your pain-
We all fear embracing pain as it makes us vulnerable and miserable. It hampers our day-to-day functioning and messes with our life. Human beings crave a happy life, so when we embrace pain, it peels off the outer shell we all carry, leaving us bare, raw, and vulnerable in front of others.
Permit yourself to address your deepest fears. The best formula is FEEL-DEAL-HEAL. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, which could mean hours and hours of brooding as well. We shouldn’t keep our feelings bottled up. Wail, shout, cry, do whatever it takes; in the end, it releases energy and washes away all the doubts, bringing clarity of thought.
Deal with your pain: We may experience excruciating pain again and again, but there comes a time we pause and think.
Enough! Time to let go!
Work effortlessly to heal your pain by practicing a few things we will discuss below.
2. Make positive affirmation first thing in the morning-
Promise yourself, first thing in the morning, to Let Go of your pain and past. Pray to God to help you achieve your goal and be grateful for what you still have on your platter.
Make a determined effort and fix some targets. For example, I would allocate myself one hour to brood or overthink as a reward only if I had met the targets of accomplishing some of my work decided earlier in the stipulated time deadline.
We know positive affirmations empower our state of mind and lift us whenever we sulk, helping us come out of our illusions and pain and teach us to see the actual picture.
3. Maintain a diary or journal-
Keep a diary or journal with you at all times and pen down whenever you feel the turbulence of overflowing emotions. You may have feelings of pain, guilt, love, emptiness, frustration, etc.…. Express them! Express them all by writing them down.
Writing about your emotions helps release the pain and memories attached to those emotions and is, therefore, a powerful tool to Let Go. Expressing what we feel helps us figure out our feelings more clearly, control our emotions, and aids our healing process.
4. Practice Yoga, Meditation, or any form of exercise-
Do you know why activities such as making love, cuddling, hugging, kissing, or even a simple act of eating meals with the family give us immense pleasure and happiness?
Well! Credit it to the happy hormones released in our body that promote positive feelings of love, pleasure and even offer relaxation from pain.
Happy and love hormones, such as serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, lift our mood and easing pain and anxiety. They are beneficial for the overall mental well-being of humans.
When we have a heartbreak, loss of a relationship or a loved one, or when we face any unfavorable situation, we sulk because our body stops producing these happy hormones, which were earlier giving us the kick when we were happy.
Yoga or physical exercise, or even meditation, helps produce these hormones, which lifts our mood. Taking care of our gut by eating fiber-rich foods plays a vital role in producing these hormones. Consuming probiotics might also help.
5. Do yourself a favor Get home a pet-
Do you know oxytocin is the cuddle hormone, and it doesn’t come from food? So the best possible way to accumulate it is to spend time with people who still care for you; believe me, they will offer unconditional support.
They prove pets, and small children to be stress busters in critical times. Cuddling pets and playing with children helps release oxytocin, which lifts our mood and calms our nervous system.
So, go ahead, touch, hug, and cuddle your loved ones to feel better.
6. Speak to yourself or any other person to release your pain-
It is a widespread notion that when we discuss our problems or pain with someone close; it relieves us and makes us feel better. But there may be times when we cannot discuss our concerns with anyone, so what is the remedy?
Talk to yourself! We don’t seem to realize the power God has given all of us and fail to acknowledge our strength. When we discuss our problems with ourselves, we only figure out a solution.
7. Learn Music-
As William Shakespeare puts it, “If music be the food of love play on”. He felt an excess of food or stuffing yourself with too much food will put you off; similarly, excess music would make you lose your appetite for love.
Music would take me deep down in the tsunami of engulfing emotions, making me experience treacherous pain throughout, but it would be a breather in the end.
Do you know the seven notes of music came from AUM?
Since Aum is the sound of divinity and encompasses the entire universe, therefore music has the power to touch our souls and often acts as a pain reliever in moments of pain and grief.
8. Practice Gratitude-
How often do you thank God for what you have instead of complaining about what you couldn’t have?
“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are living.”- By Rachel Marie Martin.
When we lose a relation, we often cry for that person or crave togetherness again, but we fail to thank God for blessing us with the beautiful memories embedded deep down in our hearts to be cherished forever. As Dr. Seuss puts it, “Don’t cry it’s over, smile because it happened”.
So, do you think practicing all the above steps will help in Letting Go?
It’s easier said than done. Don’t expect incredible results, as you may not practice all the above steps. You will sometimes do a few or maybe just one, but hold on tight; keep trying. Be persistent, even if it means practicing one or two steps in a day.
Pain is an inevitable part of living and will always exist. But if we learn the art of carrying our pain with grace, it will co-exist with life. Both pain and life will become two parallel railway tracks that will run alongside admiring and loving each other from a distance.
They might intersect at various junctions after a few kilometers, leave the memory pandora box open, where you may cry recalling the days you laughed together or laugh at the days you cried together.
So, what do we do then?
Time to introspect and going back to doing your homework all over again.
PS: I am still doing my homework to date. I wish you good luck with yours!
References-
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