The Highly Sensitive Person.
Being an HSP is not a disorder, it is an adjective. It describes a part of you.
“Cry baby.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You’re too sensitive!”
“You’re so shy. Why don’t you talk more?”
“You’re making such a big deal about this.”
“You’re such a drama queen.”
Does this sound familiar to you? Well, then you might just be a Highly Sensitive Person. A few years ago, I found out that I am an HSP, and it’s been life-changing. It has been enlightening and liberating in a lot of ways because all the years of feeling inadequate about my sensitivity and my emotions suddenly melted away. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It was not my fault. I did not choose this, and it was not my inability to toughen up and ‘deal with it.’ I was not the problem.
Having studied Psychology, trying to understand human motives, and the broad spectrum of human emotion, I tried to find out more about this and read stories of people who were similar to me.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Psychology Today defines HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) as a term coined by psychologist Elaine Aron. According to Aron’s theory, HSPs are a subset of the population who are high in a personality trait known as sensory-processing sensitivity or SPS. Those with high levels of SPS display increased emotional sensitivity, stronger reactivity to both external and internal stimuli — pain, hunger, light, and noise — and a complex inner life.
It is found in 15 to 20% of the population–too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.
HSPs if left unidentified can go through a lifetime of feeling inadequate about themselves, emotionally weak, and struggle with a variety of mental health issues. Being jarringly different from their peer groups and people of their age in the way that they feel and process emotions, and their subsequent behaviors can cement a subconscious belief that they are ‘weak’. Their families and friends often struggle to understand them and often just sum it up as ‘mood swings’. It entails a long struggle about accepting their vulnerability and not feel overwhelmed or ashamed by it. It is imperative to know whether you identify as an HSP so that you can make your life as well the lives of your loved ones easier.
Take the test!
This is a Self-Test. Answer true if it is at least somewhat true for you. Answer false if it is not very true or not at all true for you.
1) Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? T/F [True/False]
2) Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? T/F
3) Are you ‘too shy’ or ‘too sensitive’ according to others? T/F
4) Do you feel overwhelmed by bright lights and noise? T/F
5) Are you always aware of the subtleties in your environment? T/F
6) Do other people’s moods affect you? T/F
7) Are you very sensitive to pain? T/F
8) Do you feel the need to withdraw on busy days, into a bed or a darkened room or any place where you have some privacy and relief from stimulation? T/F
9) Are you particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine? T/F
10) Are you easily overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by? T/F
11) Do you have a rich, complex inner life? T/F
12) Are you deeply moved by the arts and music? T/F
13) You are conscientious. T/F
14) You startle easily. T/F
15) You get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time. T/F
16) When someone around you is uncomfortable in a physical environment, you usually know what to do to make that person feel comfortable. T/F
17) You get annoyed when people try to make you do too many things at once. T/F
18) You try very hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things. T/F
19) You avoid violent movies and Tv shows. T/F
20) Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in you, disrupting your concentration and mood. T/F
21) Changes in your life shake you up. T/F
22) You make it a point to organize your life in a way that you avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations. T/F
23) When you need to complete a task, your efficiency is significantly lower if you’re observed while performing that task, you become so nervous or shaky that you do much worse than you would otherwise. T/F
24) When you were a child, your parents or teachers described you as sensitive or shy. T/F
Scoring Yourself
If you answered True to twelve or more of the questions, you’re probably highly sensitive. However, everyone is entitled to their own experience and I’d like you to remember that this is not a diagnosis, these are just some similar traits found in this group of the population who identify as HSPs. Being an HSP is not a disorder, it is an adjective. It describes a part of you.
What can you do?
First of all, I’d just like to extend a warm, virtual hug to everyone who has identified themselves as HSPs. The struggle has been real and it must be so relieving that your life and your entire childhood suddenly makes sense. Take a deep breath. It’s okay.
- Tell Yourself that it’s okay. Be kind.
HSPs tend to be highly critical of themselves and often indulge in a lot of negative self-talk for the most mundane things. Avoid that. Speak to yourself in a loving and nurturing way, as you’d talk to your best friend or your pet.
- Art Journaling
This is a very powerful and effective way of channeling your emotions on paper/canvas. Pick up a color that best describes what you’re feeling at the moment and try to channel it. Now, this is tricky because the key is to get out of your headspace and actually be fully aware of what you’re feeling. But once you get the hang of it, it is cathartic. You can draw anxious patterns, angry lines, deep swirls, or happy flowers. It’s all up to you!
- Self-Care
Meditation and yoga are two practices that can be very calming. They help in realigning your spirit. Adequate time alone to rejuvenate yourself is essential. - Awareness and strong boundaries
Avoid people and situations that overwhelm you or stress you out. If it is impossible to avoid them, then have strong boundaries. Talk yourself out of any guilt that you may feel about this. It is essential.
Educate Yourself
I would highly recommend reading the book titled, ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’ by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. It extensively describes ‘how to thrive when the world overwhelms you’ with similar stories and testimonials from HSPs around the globe and more insight into yourself.
Research more about the topic, Psychology Today has some wonderful insight from credible psychologists who have carried out years of research and surveys on the subject.
Being an HSP has most likely affected your friendships, romantic relationships, and your way of dealing with life. Some testimonials convey that the experiences are not just subject to people. Now that you are aware of the fact that you or your loved one is highly sensitive; it will lead to a better understanding and compassion around you. I just want to urge you to make more well-informed choices. Use this knowledge about yourself as a guiding tool, but do not let it become your identity. It is a part of you, a healthy and vital part. Testimonies show that people can be vivacious, confident, and charming, can enter a room and own it, and yet identify as HSPs. Everyone’s journey is different, you just have to figure out your’s.
