THE STORY OF MY WHY!
The views expressed in this article are solely based on the author’s experiences and do not intend to generalize or preach something or harm anyone’s sentiments.
Note by the author-
This article took me nearly 2 years to complete because when I started writing it, I did not have an answer for number of why’s in my life and hence framed this article with the title “WHY DO WE ALWAYS NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE ‘WHY’ IN OUR LIVES?”
Because of the difficult situations faced overtime and the pain endured, a frequent question often popped up ‘why me’ ?
I got so stuck writing this article, that I was forced to make a rigorous effort to find out why I couldn’t finish this article signifying all the why’s in my life. Over a span of two years as time took its course and things unfolded I could figure out a number of why’s in my life and concluded that Yes! every why has an answer and it is God’s will and discretion to bring it forth in front of us at the right time when we have learnt all our lessons.
Why do we always need to figure out the ‘why’ in our lives.
This article would send the entire band wagon of life coaches, business coaches, entrepreneurs and teachers behind me explaining and justifying the reason to figure out why ‘why’ is so important for us humans. Perhaps! Trying to unfold the innumerable benefits of finding ‘why’ in everything and anything we do.
I was thoroughly impressed with Simon Sinek’s theory of “Start with Why” for any organization. His theory of first analyzing ‘Why’ we need to focus on our goals, so it can eventually lead us to figure out how we can achieve those goals. These questions are indeed very important for any organization and a necessary requisite in growth. But does this rule apply to real life situations involving emotions?
Before you begin to judge me, check out this article revolving around human psychology about the ‘why’ in context of love, empathy, gratitude and hard work.
Have you ever come across a person with whom you feel an instant connect even though you barely know him? WHY?
So many people work hard all their lives but are unable to sustain a good living standard? WHY?
Why are you so empathetic towards people who cannot even reciprocate the love and sympathy you have to offer?
The universe is full of numerous unanswered questions and has a karmic connect to everybody. It would take us a lifetime to find out all the ‘why’s in them. We are all connected souls interdependent on each other constantly giving and receiving energy.
So, Do you think all why’s need to be answered?
These questions keep poking us every now and then, forcing us to analyze leaving us in a frenzy of what to do.
For complete understanding let us take a few examples-
Excruciating physical and emotional trauma-
My family doctor was diagnosed with cancer a few years back and has had three relapses since then.
As far as I have known her, she has healed so many patients and has always given back to the society, so why she had to go through this terrible physical and emotional pain.
A dozen chemotherapies and numerous visits to the hospital would leave a normal human being shattered and devastated but she is as strong as a rock fighting her disease with immense faith and strength. WHY?
Experiences like these make us numb and force us to ruminate trying to find out the why in situations. Even after bouts of constant searches we fail to answer WHY?
Love and Relationships-
Is it always necessary to evaluate the why in closely knit relations? Often a partner would question the other why should he or she should give more in terms of love, respect, care and concern?
Well! There is no barometer invented till date to measure feelings of love and care and there is nothing called equal love. Love is not a battlefield in which one tries to defeat the other.
People fall out of committed happy relationships and despite trying hard to remain committed get emotionally connected and fall in love. Why?
If we dig deep we can find numerous more examples and may spend an entire lifetime trying to find out the Why in these situations, but I am sure we might still be unable to find the right answers.
So why can’t we just take a leap of faith and trust the divinity and sail smoothly on the course offered by life?
And let the feelings of love flow freely without too much analysis and overthinking and leave the why distant.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………I am yet to figure out why in so many scenarios of my life. Though I genuinely hope you figure out yours.
This is all I could write in a span of two years and got so stuck because when challenges were knocking me from all corners I just couldn’t agree to what I was writing and that’s when I paused…
Finally as time took its course I realized these challenges were God’s way of teaching me and it was this pain that led to my transformation. Just like a caterpillar has to go through numerous painful changes to become the beautiful butterfly we all admire, similarly when I felt stuck, I had no alternative but to work on myself to maintain my sanity.
Yes! Every why has an answer.
The year 2021 brought with itself a number of challenges and insecurities all offered in a platter, without my consent and absolutely free of cost with a beautiful tag placed on them “ Deal with it”.
I was constantly craving for time, attention, love and respect from my loved ones. I felt like I had given enough and now it was payback time, little did I realize life is not a monetary transaction where we supposedly balance the give and take. Love is not tangible and has to be unconditional which means it has to be given irrespective of the fact whether it is reciprocated or not. Because of this lack, the strain started creeping up in all the other areas of my life as well and I could sense something was drastically wrong.
The more insecure I became, the more questions arose. I could compare my life to a tsunami which shatters and washes away everything with itself. It was like a tower moment for me where I felt I had touched rock bottom but that’s how life is, it washes away all the old to bring forth place for new. Yes, it takes a number of months or years when life slowly starts to refunction and people start rebuilding the new. Though it may appear small but its new and novel.
I am sure people who have dealt with pain would agree with me that it always transforms us, makes us grow and we evolve into much wiser and sensible human beings. I was no exception!
The more turbulence I faced outside, forced me to search for answers within and that’s exactly when I formed an unbreakable bond with the divinity. This introspection made me look at life from a different perspective and brought clarity to the hazy and confused picture. I realized the only way, I could take control of my life was to start working on myself. I focused on enhancing my skills and hidden talents to improve the quality of my life. Though it seems easy to pen these thoughts now, it was challenging way back then, where on one side I was learning how to accept pain and deal with it taking one step at a time and on the other end I was taking baby steps towards my goals.
I had finally realized that Self love is the best gift a woman can give herself in this lifetime, which doesn’t mean she is not mindful of the needs and wants of her loved ones. It only means she squeezes some time and energy out of her busy schedules to work on things she loves doing. This transformation where I was focusing on myself lead to a lot of contentment and gratification and gave birth to a beautiful statement which I would always swear by throughout my life ……….…. I am worthy.
Yes, I am worthy and yes, every why has an answer, so if you feel you are pressed or stuck remember, it is God’s way of telling you that he has better things in store for you. Today, I feel blessed because I have discovered my passion for music because of this pain. I have eventually figured out my life purpose and now try and see the good in every person and situation. My approach towards life has shifted from being problem oriented to becoming solution oriented. Though, I haven’t achieved all my goals but this beautiful journey towards my goals is full of contentment and joy and has made me realize that “LIFE IS ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY AND NOT THE DESTINATION.”
P.s- I owe my transformation to my two besties and to a family member who is no less than a bestie. Thank you so much all of you for being an integral part of my life. 😘
My YouTube channel-
https://youtube.com/@monikarakheja7633?si=KLKDCoC6NEbvpzey
Image courtesy-https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/why-big-question-mark-chalkboard-44927939.jpg
