A black and white photo of a man and woman kissing
Image by StockSnap on Pixabay


Breaking My Sexual Barriers

He helped me gain ‘sex-esteem’

The Secret Alley
Published in
5 min readJul 5, 2023


I knew he wanted me, but I couldn’t find the words to tell him I felt the same. How I longed to feel his touch, the warmth of his breath, the swell of his cock.

But, like a ‘proper lady,’ I kept my legs and my mouth shut.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, running his fingers through my hair. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” My heart raced as I felt his lips touch mine. It was so soft, yet firm. He kissed me with such passion that I could feel myself melting into him. His tongue slid into my mouth, penetrating my emotional barriers. Yet one still remained.

I didn’t deserve this. I wasn’t the sexy young thing he married so many years ago. Old and overweight, I felt too disgusted by myself to give in. How could he still possibly find me sexy anyway?

I thought back to how I used to be: a slim, gothic beauty who wore her hair short and had full tits, hips, and lips. That’s not me anymore.

“I love you,” he said, breaking our embrace. I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. “What’s wrong, my love?”

“I love you too.” My words caught in my throat. “I just don’t know why you’re even with me now. I’m nothing like who I was when we fell in…



Kiki Lu Johnson
The Secret Alley

Mother, erotica/romance writer, and gamer. Loves philosophy, psychology, comedy, and of course- sex!