Asking Why and Understanding

NOT NORMAL

I’m quite different. I stand out. I’m smart, even for my own sake. On top of being a nerd, I’m actually quite good with people. I’m multi-talented and that’s not bragging.

I wanted to tell you about all that because these traits made me “not normal.” Because of that, I’d be left wondering why there wasn’t anyone like me out there.

When the going gets tough, I’d pray to Him and ask him why He made me this way. Why I came from this family and why I couldn’t just be like anybody else. If I were just like them, I’d be normal — happy.

But What Is Happiness?

As I venture into the biggest challenge of my life, I understand what this is all for.

I cannot ever be normal.

I was telling my childhood story to some of my employees the other day as if I was kidding how poor I was. I told them I’d walk about 3 kilometers to and from school. They learned how whenever it’s recess time, I’d eat my own biscuits while the other kids had money to buy pizza or cake slices. I was in one of the poorest families in my community. There were days when our entire family had one biscuit to share to everyone — and we’re quite big.

By then, I had realized WHY He did all these. I had to come from where I came from so I would understand people from the poorest communities. I had to starve so I could value food. I had to walk every day so I would appreciate that money is not the most important thing in life.

I had to be where I was so I can be where I am today.

The disappointments, the delays, and the setbacks in the past were all a part of the plan to get you prepared for right now. — JOEL OSTEEN, The Power of I Am

Fear By My Side

Though this realization already came to me days ago, I was still hunted by fear, doubt and anxiety.

Just yesterday, I regret to inform everyone that I succumbed to fear and let this eat me away. I was not able what to do what I needed to do to turn things around.

Fear won.

But, waking up today, I get reminded of His mercy again. I was reading this part multiple times in Osteen’s book, but I always forget. He is a God of another chance. He did not say “second chance” because He knew I would fall again and again.

God is saying to all the people who have fallen… “I’m not only alive, but I still love you. I still believe in you. If you will let go of the guilt and move forward, I will still get you to where you are supposed to be.” — JOEL OSTEEN, The Power of I Am

The Revival

I woke up this morning with another conundrum in the business. But since He had laid out all the necessary hardships in my way, the hardest of all, reading the “bad news” this morning just got me going, “Is that it?! Meh. I’ve faced the worst monster of all and defeated it.”

SO THANK YOU. Thank You for letting me face the biggest monsters anyone could ever face. Thank You for making me “not normal” because if I was, I could have never won against them. Thank You for making me poor. And, thank You because you have given me the grace to finish.