King Solomon’s Saying ‘Nothing New Under The Sun’
Solomon, The Queen of Sheba and The High Priest
Any guess on why the divorce rate seems much lower among Jewish couples than that prevalent in other religious groups?
Indeed, that must be a thousand year consequence from a Sacred Scripture’s precept for couples, which utters: “thou ought to despise and altogether forget, once and for ever, all those bad words heard or said in the angriest arguments with your spouse!”
That law dates back to some 3,000 years, to Shlomo’s (Solomon’s) reign, coming from the sweet, ardent days when the Queen of Sheba was the favorite wife in the royal harem, not only due to her gorgeous, hot butt and chunky pussy ( looking like the huge Italian Majella massif contrasting the Abruzzo lowlands).
Actually, she was the best leader in the very lively royal Bunga-Bunga orgies (wilder than those famous Berlusconi’s).
Upon a Shabbat morning, just on the eve of her period, it happened that the Queen had not slept well. During the night, all castle’s lamps had run out of oil, and while servants tried in vain to refill them, disturbing noises were heard all over.
Neither the king, well-known for rock sleeping, had then an easy rest, and waking up rather late, he couldn’t even take his so appreciated very strong coffee, so prolonging his usual night owl mental confusion. Looking for the teapot on the bedside table, upset he saw it wasn’t there, nor had the queen received hers.
Sheba, in a bad mood, shouted:
— “Schlomo, what a mightless king you are! Go downstairs and put an end to these servant’s typical Jewish laziness, fire right now everyone from the pantry, since they’re not good enough even to bring us a plain f***ing cup of coffee!”
Very upset by the Ethiopian’s thick and bossy voice, the mind still clouded king replied:
— “Why don’t you go, yourself, big boss?! Get your horny ass out of the bed and show that you’re good for something in life besides fucking so pretty good!
A lot of curses followed, increasingly louder and more serious, such as “Your mohel was blind and cut you too much”; or “Be aware that your cunt has been once much tighter, and not so long ago, this way…”. Both talked in increasingly lower slang.
After so much rudeness and so many loud shouts, the yells awakened the kingdom’s highest priest who left his room, invaded the royal chamber and shouted in that very serious tone of Moses’ voice on Mount Sinai:
“Shlomo and Sheba, ‘that’s enough’!!! [the same ‘THAT’S ENOUGH!’ of Estelle Costanza from the sitcom ‘Seinfeld’ when she utters to her husband to stop talking”]. Then, he uttered:
“Erase forever all your memory of these angry screams and go back to having sex RIGHT NOW! I ONLY don’t forbid you the divine screams, howls, moans and roars of carnal pleasure that we all in this palace are so used to delighting in!”
King Solomon and the Queen at once and willingly accepted those wise, divine words uttered by the supreme priest, so wildly making love right there, before that so wise man who was able to watch everything in great joy and excitement, and peace!
