CHAPTER 1

On the eve of Xavier’s 16th birthday, while he slept, a grin on his face, a man, robed in purple and white, sat by his bed, his chin in his palms, half excited, half terrified, and half feeling like shit. He wore a gold medal around his neck and his name was Pontius.

An hour ago, outside the Holy of Holies, he had been given a scroll. He wasn’t expecting one for the next thousand years, given that not only was he on probation, but also the fact that Gabriel hated him. He opened the scroll, nonetheless, hands shaken as he read the name in it; Xavier BluBottons. There wasn’t a picture, there wasn’t an address. Just the name and the spirit of the one who bore it. A few minutes later, he returned the scroll to the Room of Assignments and Records, which was located at the entrance of the Throne Hall. A question burned on his lips. He wanted to ask St. Rhoda, the book keeper, but he knew what her answer will be; “Go ask the Father, only He knows.”

For a moment, he stared at the doors to the Throne Hall, at its majestic flame-shaped handles, and for a second he thought of pushing on them and ushering himself in to see the Father, to ask Him the question that has been tormenting him for the past hour, from the very moment he had received the scroll. But in the end, he couldn’t do it. He lacked the impudence. So, instead, he went into the SeraPhilium, where the angels congregated, informed Michael of his assignment, received his blessings, and was escorted to the edge of the Heavens, where he swooped down to the Earth below, wings akimbo.

He found Xavier’s house not far from where he had landed, in a place that was called Brooklyn, and he hated it already for no reason except that it was raining and he was drenched. Moments later, his wings tucked neatly into his robes, he made his way past an empty bar, through a red door and up the stairs of an apartment complex and into Xavier’s room. There, he watched him sleep. Tomorrow his tasks begins, and it wouldn’t be easy. If he fails, which would be the dreaded second time, the consequence would be far more than just a probation. According to Michael, who administers all penance in the Kingdom, it included, among other grave things, being banished to the famous Hell’s Kitchen, where all you do is make tons and tons of brimstone for the end days. Lusulphur’s Chemistry, the angels call it.