What Happened To The Nostalgia of Blogging?
I was so excited to begin my lucrative career as a freelance writer, and then. . .
It actually started to happen — I Had No Idea What I Was Getting Into
Blogging: A World of Endless Possibilities
This isn’t the typical “I quit my job to become an independent freelance writer, work for myself, and build my own empire” because that’s not necessarily the truth.
Yes, I’m self-employed.
Yes, I’m a freelance writer.
Except, my “empire” wasn’t built simply sitting at home on my computer and raking in thousands. Nor did I create genus marketing funnels or get paid exuberant amounts to write articles for huge publications.
That was my goal — is my goal…?
I honestly don’t know anymore. I’m so tired of normal life. That sounds a bit arrogant, huh?
“As if this fuckin kid is any better than us reading his shit blog post!”
You’d be right. But first, hear me out
I’ve done everything from DoorDash & Postmates, to starting a small painting company for Peet’s sake! Hell, I even managed to support myself 100% by Day Trading Options with the money I saved up from Doordash for about 2 years.
Two fuckin years?!? Wtf…? I’m half in the bag — a high school drop out. How the hell did I manage to pull that one off?
I thought that last one was my calling.
Then I went and fucked it up, all with one really stupid trade. That decision I made after staying up all night, exhausted and barely able to read the expiration dates, decimated my account.
Naturally, a screw up like the one I made resulted in a margin call — aka: “You’ve got a fuckin problem bud!”
Let’s just leave that one lie easy for now. A story for another day.
Yeah, I know, it sounds ridiculous and probably hard to believe. But it’s the truth.
I have had major successes in my life. Made tons of cash, like the amount that I should be blogging about how all you need to do is relax and believe in yourself during morning meditation — that’s how you find success!
While I type on my brand new MacBook Pro sitting on the back deck of my summer house, knowing damn well that before I was rich I had no time for meditation.
My most successful venture to date was when I actually got an LLC and started a company working with Drug Rehab centers and Blood/Urine Analysis Labs.
Sounds strange, but, every industry needs marketing strategies and clients to continue to operate, right?
I’d love to explain the ins and outs of that industry as well, (considering that I made 17k in one month), but it’s not something that you should get involved in. Honestly, despite what I expected going in, that happened to be the most corrupt, disgusting, greed-filled industry that I have ever experienced.
It’s also not sustainable — if you have a heart. Another story for another day.
Now let me tell you about normal life.
Wake up at a god forsaken hour, rush to get dressed and ready for work. See, normal people have to make a sacrifice every single morning.
You know what that sacrifice is?
“Do I set the alarm for say, 4:50 — 5:00 am, that way I don’t have to jump out of bed and run to the shower in a cold house on a Wednesday morning, instead being able to enjoy 30 minutes of sipping hot coffee and watching the news?
“Then you realize that you’re sacrificing a whole hour and 20 minutes, (most times just 1 hour), for coffee? But, I usually don’t fall asleep until 1:30 am, that’s cutting it close. Then again, by the time I get off work, change clothing, eat, see to the kids — dogs — wife:”
Reality is setting in. . .
“Well, there’s just NO GOD DAMN TIME LEFT FOR ME TO DO ANYTHING BUT SLEEP OR STAY AWAKE SO I CAN WATCH ONE FUCKING EPISODE OF GAME OF THRONES!!!”
So, as I was about to say before, I began my freelancing career as a blogger about 1 and 1/2 years ago. I loved it at first. I wrote purely for the joy I got from putting words together and slowly building a story that others could relate to. Sure, I wanted to find success, who wouldn’t? Although, deep down inside, I knew that I’d never make a full-time career out of it.
I was never going to become a Tim Denning or Zulie Rane.
Then one day, something happened
I’m not going to lie to you and say that I struck viral gold or hit it big, but things were beginning to look up for me. Yet, once they did, it all started to change.
Gone were the days I could write whatever I wanted without a long, drawn-out brainstorming session followed by a brutal editing session.
I was starting to build up a small following on the Blogging outlets I used. And you know what they say: Once you start to gain traction, shit hits the fan.
It’s do or die at this point.
The small following I gained now had some expectations of me. Again, I was no superstar, but I had to produce now. I couldn’t just go hard and write a few good articles, ask people to follow me, then dip out on them once it got real.
That would not only be disrespectful to those fans who believed in me, it would also be disgraceful to the art of freelance writing.
There’s many other new bloggers out there who are actually willing to put in the work.
Who was I to think I could skimp out? Fuck that!
Plus. . .
The successful writers all talked about it. How in order to find real success, you had to do more than just write.
You had to market your work.
Engage in social media, comment on other writer’s work and start to build your own network. So many things. But, I still had that flame inside me because I had made my first $65 on an article, so I dove in eyeballs first.
By the end of the first month of actual writing — bah!
Shoot me now like Old Yeller and put me out of my misery………….:( — > please?
Okay, okay, it wasn’t that bad. Then again, it kind of was becoming that bad. So I had to make a choice.
- Either continue on as I was, slowly becoming more and more resentful, yet continue putting out content at the rate I was — and then, once they did come, make they couldn’t sense the lack of commitment I had put into in my own damn writing.
- Give up on my dream.
Option 2 sounds depressing as shit, huh?
Not really, it was liberating. I had learned that this wasn’t what I wanted to do for a living. Trust me, I loved the idea of being a full-time writer. Earning my own bread with nothing but my pen and paper.
Umm, I mean laptop and ten fingers…?
That saying just doesn’t cut it in 2021, huh?
But the process of becoming one, nope! Even had I became one there’s still all the work that comes along with maintaining it.
People won’t read one good article by you then suddenly you’re getting emails from them saying:
“Hey Steve, I loved that one article you wrote — what’s your CashApp? How much did you expect again, sorry, I have a bad memory.”
So I gave up on that silly fantasy. It’s for Stephen King and others who got 50% the talent he does. Who’s got 2% of the courage and drive that man has too.
Have you ever read about him getting hit by a car on the side of some dingy, back-road by a drunk, leaving him with lifelong pain throughout his entire body?
That fucker still sits for hours writing and editing!
Have you seen the size of his books? He writes a damn Novella under a pen-name called Bachman or some shit and the thing is still like 350 pgs. — minimum.
What I learned
I’m not ending on a sour note despite what many of you may think. Rather, what I’ve led some of you gullible folks to think.
I’m happy!
I write when I want, where I want, and how I want. I don’t care if I misspell words, have bad grammar, or curse too much!
I probably just used too when I should have (of?) used to — see what I mean?
Now I just work, make the money I need to pay the bills, never stressing when I write. It had become a stress reliever, not a stress enhancer.
Don’t get it twisted though, it’s not all peaches and McFlurries. . .
I still HATE normal life. I hate that in modern society here in America, most of us have to work away 78% (don’t quote me on that number — I made it up) of our lives, just to pay for a roof over our heads and food in the belly!
Life never changes until you make it change. So, I need to quit bitching and go make a change, huh?
Fuck this — why am I writing right now!?! I should be out there changing my life, but instead I’m here blabbering away to you people about stuff you ought to find out the hard way.
The way that hurts!
You see, I’m not being cruel by wishing that on you — it weeds out the weak, like me.
Once the pretend writers are out of your way, those of you who put in the work and actually deserve success on Medium, in newspapers, idk, hell, maybe on Bloomberg or something — What I’m trying to say here is:
You will have more room to grow and succeed with people like me not blowing up your potential fans homepage feeds.
But, alas, it’s a cruel hard world out there. Dare I say if you enjoyed reading this, consider reading my other works?
Btw, you approaching that 3 article limit bullshit? Stop being cheap!
Sign up for Medium — read as much as you want. Oh yeah, I’ll get half of your membership fee. . .
Yeah, I’ll get $2.50, big deal. You’re still paying $5 no matter what. Why wouldn’t you want some average guy like me getting half, instead of the gigantic corporation that Medium is.
Did you know that this fucker who created Medium also created Twitter? I think he was involved with founding Reddit somehow to, but again, don’t quote me.
Remember, I write for fun — no more having to fact check everything I write! HAH
