What’s the root of all change?
As much of a clickbait as it might sound, you can actually change what you see and what you feel.
Suppose you are riding on an early train to work. People on the train sit quietly, reading, resting, or simply lost in thought. “Such a peaceful morning”, you thought. But the joy didn’t last. A man enters the car with his children, who are jumping and running all over the place. They even grab other passengers’ newspapers. The man now sits next to you with eyes closed, ignorant of the trouble the kids have made.
What now?
You feel increasingly irritated. Before losing control, in the politest way possible you asked, “Couldn’t you control your children a little more? They are disturbing others.” The man appeared to be suddenly brought into life and said softly, “Oh yes I should probably do something. We were in the hospital. I don’t know what to do, but their mom just died.”
What will you say to this man?
Will you insist that he needs to make the kids behave? Will you grow embarrassed and not have another word? Or will you feel sorry for him and offer help?
A paradigm shift in seconds
This is a true story of Stephen Covey’s, told in The Seven Habits.
He felt the pain the man was going through. He was filled with empathy and wanted to help, all within seconds of knowing the man’s situation. This information gave him the opportunity to see differently, feel differently, and naturally, act differently. Did you felt it too? This is a powerful paradigm shift.
Back to the question, what will you say to this man?
For the same situation, you will respond in your own way. No matter it is to be silent, to offer help, or you have the ability to spot the man’s sadness even before the conversation. No one would respond exactly the same, right?
Why is that?
Your character and paradigm intertwined
This is largely due to your character, which is who you are.
Paradigms are inseparable from character. Being is seeing in the human dimension. And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can’t go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being and vice versa. — Stephen Covey
Being a type of person will see a thing in one way, while another type in a much different way. The outlook will then determine what you feel and do. Start by knowing who you are and what character you want to develop. A quantum change is within your reach.
Content inspired by the book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
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