Can Travel Transform Us?
Sometimes I wonder.
“I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” Britney Spears
Britney Spears appears to have everything a woman could want. She’s famous, she’s got tons of money, yet she thinks the Great Lakes are seas. I don’t know whether Britney has travelled a lot. Possibly, she’s confused by geography because only 17 states make it a mandatory subject in middle school.
This seems to have made many Americans geographically inept. When one woman on Jay Leno’s “Jaywalking” segment was asked to point out France, she indicated Australia. I don’t think Britney would make the same mistake.
She might point to Wyoming, but so would most of Wyomingites.
In a national test, students were asked to name three countries outside America. Thirty percent included either Africa, Australia, or Europe.
The Golden Arches and other wonders.
Despite not knowing the difference between continents and countries, it’s surprising how many people put travel at the top of their “to do” list. I’ve travelled with Americans in the past. Most looked for familiar landmarks like the Golden Arches. One time in the Dominican Republic, a man from Texas asked if there was a McDonalds close by. When I told him they didn’t have McDonalds, he said, “Gawd, how do people survive around here?”
“Men like worldly women”
This came from a dating column, advising women to include pictures of their vacations. “Nobody wants a stay-at-home Sue,” the columnist said. I remember asking a woman in Cancun once, “What’s it like riding a horse on a beach?” and she replied, “Awesome.” She said the same thing about dinner. I suppose she deserves marks for getting on a horse. Still, if every adventure and every meal is awesome, I’d prefer a “stay-at-home Sue” with a broader vocabulary.
More worldly than Britney Spears
Needless to say, we all want amazing things to happen when we travel, preferably so we can come home, if not completely changed, at least more worldly than Britney Spears. Truth be told, you can be more worldly than Britney Spears simply by crossing Lake Erie. The real transformation — as any world traveller will tell you — comes from experiences best described as being “mind altering.”
Holes in the floor
A friend of mine — who’s travelled everywhere — once went across India on a train. The only washroom was a closet with a hole in the floor. “I had the trots so bad,” he said, “Believe me, nothing transforms you like having the trots in India.”
My own case of the trots occurred riding a mule up to The Citadel in Haiti. I moved to the back of the pack where I could jump off, do my business, and jump back on the mule again. I swear that mule giggled the whole time.
“You only live once,” Mae West said, “but if you do it right, once is enough.”
That’s if you’re experiencing your situation and not just observing it. Taking photos, for instance, is observing. Three hours on a giggling mule is definitely experience. No doubt, in the second instance, you learn something about yourself. Mainly that you’re far more inventive than you think, especially around mules.
It also reminds us that life isn’t a postcard or a photo.
My world-travelling friend pointed this out after visiting Bangalore. As he explained, behind every picturesque train is a closet with a hole in the floor. India has thousands of them. If you get the trots, you’ll no doubt see many of them.
Taking ayahuasca doesn’t make you Bolivian.
I remember a woman returning from Bolivia, claiming she now felt at one with the Bolivian people. “I’ve been to the jungle, communed with a shaman, and taken ayahuasca,” she said. Well, yes, they painted her white and she danced around a fire. Other than that, she came home with turquoise jewelry.
The Taj Mahal changes colour three times a day.
I’m sure it would be an “mind altering” experience seeing all three, but you’d be crazy hanging around there all day. It’s hot, crowded and, frankly, while you might think you’re expanding your knowledge, you’re more likely having sunstroke. Thousands of tourists leave India with sunstroke. It’s how Indians know you’re a tourist. The minute you collapse, they nod their heads and say, “Chicago.”
The worse experiences make for great memories.
As much as we want to idealize travel, we often end up dealing with things that aren’t ideal. On my trip to Haiti, we were held hostage by the hotel staff at Emerald Isle. They wanted better pay. After that got sorted out, I took a tap-tap (small Datsun pickup with a cap) into Port-au-Prince where I was accosted in an alleyway for my running shoes. As crazy as it all sounds, it was my most exciting vacation.
Don’t get too hung up on “rejuvenated.”
Travel is an idealized version of staying at home. If we could have all our travels in the comfort of our living rooms, we’d do it. As much as we say we want to see the world, to be rejuvenated and reborn, most people end up irritated by line-ups, heat, panhandlers, and exorbitant prices. They even did a study of men with former coronaries, who travelled, and actually increased their risk of myocardial infarcts. Is it any wonder 87% of Americans prefer domestic trips over foreign?
Okay, okay, I’ll say something good (just in case Britney is reading this)
If you disagree with everything I’ve said, you’re probably right. Psychologists claim memories are rejuvenating. Travel builds our confidence. Maybe it does, I don’t know. I just hope Britney gets on a plane some day and crosses Lake Erie into Canada. She’ll see it’s a lake. She might still think it’s in Wyoming, but that’s not her fault. She’s the product of the American school system. Otherwise, she’s adorable.
