Female Sexuality and Using Science to be Sexist
“Men are just more sexual- it’s nature”. “It’s more natural guys to masturbate but not women”. “Women just don’t enjoy sex as much because of their biology”. “Women don’t understand, men have a biological need to procreate!”- Overheard in conversations I’ve had about sex.
It is no secret that our society has used scientific rhetoric as a weapon to maintain the status quo for centuries, or in other words, uphold the beliefs of the white patriarchy. There are infinite examples of this regarding archaic ideas about gender, one being “men are better leaders because they’re less hormonal and therefore less emotional”. Anyone with a true, basic understanding of biology knows this is false, but we haven’t accepted this yet for female sexuality and the sexist ideas we blindly consume about this.
So-called biology that we still hear thrown around in daily conversation everyday is used to suppress female sexuality. Every time I’ve had a conversation about sex or masturbation, somewhere along the line the classic ‘biology’ facts come out to explain male sexual behavior “Men are biologically more sexual, its why we watch porn and masturbate more”.
Throughout the years, social attitudes and the porn industry have lead us to believe that men are ‘biologically’ more sexually responsive, when in fact researchers have been disproving this myth for decades now. In fact sexual stimulation in men and women is the same. It is socially conditioned, patriarchal ideas that result in higher porn consumption amongst males and these differences in sexual behavior[1].
Our attitudes towards sex are inherently hetero-normative and misogynistic. An Instagram poll conducted from my account, the interactions being from people aged 18–25, discussed how the sex education in our schools failed us. Separated by gender, not touching on consent, the emotional side of sex, female masturbation or gay sex; these were the most common themes when asking my followers how helpful their sex ‘education’ was in school. It seemed in every case, that sex education focuses solely on the biology of sex and pregnancy. To not teach the fundamental social side of sex to those just entering its world is dangerous to say the least. Consent, pleasure, objectification, relationships- this is the real, human side of sex that we interact with every day, and teenagers are more than capable of engaging with these conversations. It would certainly make the subject more applicable and interesting to young adults, instead of making sex education a biology test.
It is not ‘biological’ that men have been allowed to explore their sexuality from a young age. The differences in male and female sexual behavior in today's society, like masturbation, come from the steady social conditioning whereby men/boys are told that sexual feelings are natural; women/girls have this behavior stigmatized and are taught to suppress sexuality from a very young age. Slut shaming, a prevalent part of our culture, is a prime example of how society deems female sexuality as bad, and this is ingrained in every female mind from the moment we become aware of what sex is.
The prime example of misogynistic ideas of sex today: rapping about female sexuality from the perspective of a strong women being seen as ‘a bad example’, and the song WAP causing so much controversy. Why was WAP talked about so much? The stigma surrounding the song is incredible considering men have been rapping and singing about sexualizing women, from a male perspective, that is often degrading and dangerous, for years. This however, is deemed completely normal because it doesn't challenge any patriarchal ideas about sex. The outrageous reactions to WAP show that society still isn’t ready to hear of a woman being in control of and expressive about her own sensuality.
This is a large part of the dangerous rhetoric that sex is something for men and usually done to women. Issues surrounding consent and rape culture are directly related to societies inability to accept women who own pleasure. If we look at the danger that women face today, like Sarah Everard and the 97% statistic, we must reflect on the discourse we use and allow children to internalize when we talk about sex. The first thing women are asked when they bring up sexual harassment or abuse is if they were in any way displaying their sexuality; “what were you wearing? What do you expect if you were drinking? She was asking for it!”. This thinking suggests that female sexuality is the reason for sexual harassment or abuse; essentially this assumption blames women and completely ignores that men can be victims of sexual abuse too.
These ideas that men are biologically ‘just more sexual’ is the backbone for dismissing sexual misconduct, and oppresses women and their sexual nature as human beings. To me, it sounds more like “boys will be boys…but women will be held to a different set of standards”. Its high time we start teaching women that sex is natural for them too, and they have every right to explore it as men.
