The Shadow
Published in

The Shadow

Feminism Doesn’t Require Sworn Oath of Female Friendships

Photo by Billie on Unsplash

One thing the world likes to forget is that women are human beings with different backgrounds, characters, behaviours, and truths. And in a world designed to suit men — women are seen as not more than objects to be acquired and used for the entertainment and pleasure of men. Society pits women who strive to break out of this vicious entrapment against each other like wild animals in a cage.

Sadly, many women have absorbed this indoctrination and see other women as threats, rivals, and competition. Therefore, allowing the patriarchy to successfully weaponize the phrase, ‘women are women’s enemies.’

With feminism comes the eye-opener that this is merely a patriarchal tool with no truth to it. In the effort to diminish the whole purpose of feminism, whenever two women disagree on whatever issue, they are accused of being each other’s enemies, of tearing each other down. This has put unnecessary pressure on women to be friends regardless of whether or not they like each other to avoid being tagged enemies of women.

It is important to note that the patriarchy only uses this to take away from the real issue — the efforts of feminists to achieve an equal society.

It is in human nature to disagree, to fight, and to argue — it is not a woman against woman thing but a human thing. Men fight each other all the time, they get jealous, they let their egos get in the way of common sense more often than not but they are never accused of being emotional or of hating each other.

Being feminist doesn’t require being friendly with every woman especially if you aren’t comfortable with it. Make no mistake, female friendships are important but are not a prerequisite to being a feminist.

That two women aren’t friends doesn’t mean they can’t stand up for each other’s rights. It doesn’t mean they look the other way when one of them is being harassed, body shamed, enduring an abusive relationship, or facing any other form of oppression. Women can compete against each other in a healthy environment just like men without being tagged enemies.

Being feminist means women see and acknowledge each other’s worth and stand together (irrespective of their differences) against gender biases.

Being friends, lovers or enemies depends on their human nature and not by their virtue of being women or feminists. In all sincerity, two feminists who don’t like each other will surely stand together to fight against patriarchy because ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend.’

Women hating other women is just another patriarchal construct used to subdue and shun women and sadly many women have bought and internalised this and they need to flush it out of their system. In the same vein, women don’t need to feel guilty for not being friends with another woman for one reason or the other because it’s not needed to validate their feminism.

Feminism doesn’t force relationships rather it helps you look beyond relationships and more at humanity.

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