Friendship With a Narcissist Sucks
The Most Insecure Person I’ve Ever Met v.s. My Boundaries
There was something about her that felt off from the very beginning.
She looked normal enough, and she was interested in spending time with me, so for several days we hung out. The two of us were subleasers, new to the shared house, both feeling a little bit insecure and a lot uncertain where we fit in. I was excited that she was excited to get to know me…or seemed to be.
Still, there was that issue. When I talked about myself, she immediately looked bored and seemed to tune me out. The only exception was when I denigrated myself or said something self-effacting, at which point her excitement came back and she immediately said something about how excellent she was at whatever I’d just confessed to failing at.
She seemed to really like the idea that I was a failure. It unnerved me, but I was lonesome and she was there. Spending time with her was so easy as long as I was willing to feel badly about myself. I had a lot of experience with that. It had started to feel normal to me.
So I continued to abdicate my emotional boundaries and she continued to walk all over me. She would get home from her job and interrupt whatever I was doing, so smoothly that at first I didn’t notice how fully she…
