Grumpy Old Men.
Running neck-and-neck with stupid.
“In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.” Hunter S. Thompson
We’ve had a long week of grumpy old men, and they must confound reporters and historians alike. It seems, whether you’re an ex-president, paramilitary sleaze or out-of-touch televangelist, there’s always the opportunity to be more shocking than you were the day before.
Over in the Ukraine, Yevgeny Prigozhin, former criminal and “Putin’s chef,” claims Bakhmut is taken. He can be seen in a video waving a Russian flag in front of his paramilitary Wagner Group.
Meanwhile, bombs keep landing behind him. It’s an odd thing to see during what’s essentially a clean-up operation.
“By May 25, we will completely examine [Bakhmut], create the necessary lines of defence and hand it over to the military,” Prigozhin said, the inference being that the Russian army played no part.
Putin, meanwhile, thanked the Russian army.
If the “final sin is stupidity,” as Thompson points out, Putin and Prigozhin are stumbling over each other like church mice in a burning cathedral.
Closer to home, America’s former president, Donald Trump, is now being sued for post-verdict remarks during a CNN Town Meeting. Only days before, he was found guilty of sexual abuse and defamation against E. Jean Carroll, a New York columnist. She was awarded $5 million.
Now Carroll’s lawyers are now seeking an additional $10 million after Trump called the case “a fake, made-up story invented by a whack job.” It seems, in Manhattan courts, if you’re stupid enough to “double down” on your post-verdict comments, the damages should be double. It’s simple math — at least for lawyers.
Needless to say, former presidents — especially those found guilty of sexual abuse — shouldn’t defame anyone. But defame Trump did, while enjoying the hoots and cheers of his followers in the CNN studio that night.
Unfortunately, public opinion doesn’t decide court cases. If anything, it reminds jurors that laws are to be respected. Trump will, no doubt, lose again. Whether that scuddles his chances of winning the election in ’24 is anybody’s guess.
Trump never disappoints, even when he loses. They see an underdog, and underdogs are supposed to get torn up now and again.
Certainly his followers like a good fight. Trump never disappoints, even when he loses. They see an underdog, and underdogs are supposed to get torn up now and again. If it costs $5 million or $10 million, what’s that to a billionaire who refuses to be silenced, even when he’s on a losing streak?
Trump’s supporters admire his grit, and God knows you have to take down “whack jobs” wherever you find them. If you don’t — and obviously he hasn’t — then they just keep coming. His place in history might be that of a “whack job” accusing other whack jobs of being “whack jobs.”
Right now, the Republican Party is running attack ads, calling Biden a tired, old man who has to be helped into his shoes each morning. It’s an odd distraction considering Trump is losing his shirt in court and Ron DeSantis is losing Disney.
Tim Scott (R-South Carolina) has now entered the race, hoping to run down the middle. Whether there’s a middle is yet to be seen. Republicans are a loyal lot, and loyalty runs deep even if the platforms don’t.
Scott’s the only Black Republican in the senate. That’s either a plus or a minus. You never know with Republicans, and it’s doubtful we will know before election time rolls around.
He’s taken money from far worse thieves than the Republican oligarchs. Some are Biden’s age.
The Vegas oddsmakers see Trump as the frontrunner, but he’s going broke fast with lawsuits and corporate fiascos. Republicans like their presidents rich. The party may need to prop Trump up financially, which won’t bother Trump. He’s taken money from far worse thieves than the Republican oligarchs. Some are Biden’s age.
And just when we think “grumpy old men” can’t cause any more embarrassment, along comes a wingnut with no political ambitions at all.
His name’s Peter Popoff, a popular televangelist back in the 80s, who’s now selling “miracle spring water” to possibly the same people who believe Trump can end the war in Ukraine in twenty-four hours.
This Popoff character has been running commercials lately, saying he wants to send you his “miracle spring water.” “This faith tool will help you to see liberation from the bondage of debt,” he says, adding that “It’s free. I want to send it to you, no obligation. Call me now.”
Well, Popoff is one slick mother. People respond, they want to be liberated. They get their free water (Polish Spring with a dash of holy water), with a long note from Popoff, explaining that somewhere between $1,900 and $19,000 is “heading their way” as long as they use the water as directed.
“Please send exactly $19.00 because 1 is the number of the Father…and 9 is the number of New Birth.”
Of course, there’s one other thing. “Please send exactly $19.00 because 1 is the number of the Father…and 9 is the number of New Birth.”
Once people send him the money, the hook is set. Soon, he’s asking for more money, each time with the promise of “bountiful gifts” and no doubt God’s blessing since the amount asked is a significant religious number.
You’re “sowing the seed of God,” the letters say, so don’t delay.
It’s an old con job, something Popoff’s been doing for so long, he entered GQ’s “Wall of Shame” back in 2012. Since then, he’s been sending out “prayer cloths” and “wristbands” each saturated with positive thoughts of “money windfalls and opportunities.”
He may be the most hackneyed of “grumpy old men,” but he lives a life of luxury and comfort. All these “grumpy old men” do in one way or another. Trump’s still got his golden faucets, DeSantis still has his wealthy Florida donors, and Popoff still has his marks.
It reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Dr. Tar and Professor Fether,” where an insane asylum is taken over by the residents because the superintendent believes in giving them free reign.
If the final sin is stupidity, these men are more than qualified to sit at the table of the stupid. It reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Dr. Tar and Professor Fether,” where an insane asylum is taken over by the residents because the superintendent believes in giving them free reign.
In some respects, we’ve done the same thing. We’ve given “grumpy old men” too much free reign. And, like Poe’s story, they’ve turned an otherwise sane establishment into a nut house.
If Trump or DeSantis wins in ’24, that’s what we’ll have. It may be their final sin, it may be ours.
It’s still a sin and it’s still final. That would make anyone grumpy.
