How Sports Coaches Taught Me I Deserve Abuse

Abuse of Horse and Rider is still the Social Norm in Most Stables

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My trainer said, “It’s all your fault.”

So did the next one. And the one after that. And the one after that.

Eventually, I started to believe. How could I not?

They were the experts. The professionals. The ones whose job it was to tell me what I was doing wrong, so that I could fix it. The ones who knew what they were doing. They were the adults, and I was just a child, trying to learn to ride. I was just a child. I was just a child. I was just. A child.

1.

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The first time it happened, I was on an Appaloosa gelding named Cochise. When it was time to trot, I squeezed with my legs. He did not move. The trainer said, “kick.” I kicked. He turned around and tried to bite me.

Now, there are a lot of reasons why a horse might not want to move forward. Maybe he is wearing a saddle that fits badly. Maybe his belly hurts and he is trying to communicate that he is in pain: horses have notoriously sensitive stomachs, and very little alternative ways to…