LIFE EVENTS | RESILIENCE| PATIENCE
Husbands and Fathers Are Not Born; They Are made
And it’s a challenging transformation process.
I never knew my father. Because I grew up fatherless, it was challenging to grasp that daughters naturally integrate the father figure into their identity during their formative years. Still, I was curious to learn, even theoretically, how a father and husband would behave in a family set-up, hoping that one day, I’ll mature and have one of my own.
I looked around at my friends and studied their fathers. I analyzed the husbands and fathers from moving pictures, and I often imagined how it would have been to grow into a normal family. I fabricated a mental image of a loving father and husband that was nurturing, protective and strong.
In my mind, I couldn’t see any limitations for a man to become the perfect family figure I very much longed for as a child. Hence, I was disheartened when the educated and successful guy I met many years ago, brought up in a normal family, was less than perfect as a partner and later as a father.
Who would have guessed that my normal guy was beyond first sight, emotionally unavailable, anxious, and angry, making my perfect husband and father's image far from reality?
