When Good People Go Toxic

Emotionally Abusive Behaviors that are Unacceptable in Adults

What do we talk about when we talk about toxicity? Is it the landlord who refuses to make minor repairs out of an unspoken grudge against single women, queer women, Jews? Is it the supervisor who finds fault to avoid taking responsibility? Is it the date who stands you up, claiming he forgot, but perhaps enjoying your misery and humiliation a little too much? Or is it the man who says he loves you, while staring at another woman’s breasts over your shoulder?

All of the above?

Yup, all of the above.

We all struggle, and we all fall short. Many of us don’t realize the impact we may have on other people, or don’t pay attention to the parts of ourselves that could use an upgrade. Maybe we fail to notice our mistakes. Maybe we insist on calling our behavior “a mistake” when what we mean is, we don’t care enough about the people we are hurting to quit hurting them.

In any event. Here are six ways people normalize toxic behavior, and here are six suggestions for what to do to express yourself respectfully instead.

1. Disdain

Your friend who secretly watches Full House, your girlfriend who not-so-secretly listens to Taylor Swift, and your mother…