Bad Hombres Scramble: A Morning-ish Type Egg Treat
Here’s a recipe that you will hate.
It’s the morning after you’ve made a horrible decision. You feel awful physically, spiritually, mentally, and any other possible iteration of fatigue. You made the mistake of tuning into the final presidential debate on last night because you consider yourself an informed citizen.
You thought wrong. You sat there yukking it up like the Algonquin Round Table on your Twitter while your more conservative family members fumed and angrily drank adjunct lagers at Clinton. And perhaps you knocked back a tipple or two to tide you over and really loosen the hearts and mind of your muse.
What can you do to alleviate your pounding headache and the profound spiritual crisis raging across your body? You do what any of us would do when placed into horrifying, horrifying reality: consume. And while some of us would deign to focus on conspicuous consumption, you yourself will turn to the meal deemed most sacred by our over-educated, underpaid people: brunch.
And as a liberal arts degree holder with left-ish politics, you’ll be a sucker for this half-assed recipe that cynically cashes in on a topical item:
Bad Hombres Huevos Rancheros.
It’s got it all: a completely ignorant understanding of the conventions of Spanish grammar and cynically topical enough to be worn by every pledge at the Delta Iota Kappa household.
This one is meant to burn a little, but modify as necessary if you can’t handle the heat. It’s a version inspired by a few different sources.Our first consideration is having the right ingredients. Here’s what you’ll need:
Ingredients:
1/4 cup of cilantro
1/2 cup of queso fresco (can substitute cotija or feta in a pinch)
4 6-inch corn tortillas (see the tip to properly warm the tortillas)
4 large eggs (organic or whatever. Your body, your poison)
1 white onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves of garlic, chopped and coarsely ground
Extra-virgin olive oil (sub vegetable oil if you have a fear and hatred of people from Spain, Italy, or Greece)
Salt and pepper (the style and variety lefty to your level of snootiness)
1 lime, sliced
1 can of refried beans (this is optional and to taste)
1 can (14 ounces)of crushed tomatoes
1 small habanero pepper seeded or unseeded (substitute serrano or jalapeno for less heat, sub dried chilies for a smokier flavor)
Equipment:
1 hand blender
1 medium saucepan
1 skillet
Salsa:
Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in medium sauce pan until simmering. Add onion and garlic cook for five minutes or until the edges start to brown
Add tomatoes and habanero and bring the concoction to a simmer. Cook over low temperature for 10 minutes
Mix with hand blender until a puree is formed, add cilantro, salt, pepper, and lime to taste.
Tortillas:
Heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet, bring to a simmer and place one corn tortilla in the skillet, cooking each side for approximately 15 seconds.
Set tortillas aside to drain on paper towels.
Eggs:
Reheat skillet, adding oil as is necessary. Fry the eggs, using a spoon to baste the eggs in the hot oil. Fry until the egg is crisp on the bottom, while maintaining the yolk and until the white portion of the egg begins to become more rigid. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Assembly:
If you opted for refried beans, have them cooking on the stove or warmed in some way that they’ll be at the right temperature for assemblage of the bad hombres. Beans can serve as a side item or they can be spread on the tortilla.
Place one fried egg on a tortilla. Layer on the salsa, making sure to keep the gold of the yolk visible. Sprinkle on the cilantro and cheese or choice to taste.
Dig in and enjoy!
Probably not as good as paying an arm and leg at your local brunch spot right? But you can rest easy, with eyes stinging from the sweat of a hard day’s work, or at least making a relatively simply breakfast while feeling physically ill.
With a full stomach, you can fall back asleep and put off thinking about the election just a little bit more. It’s the most American thing you could possibly ever do.
